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Archive for the ‘Principles’ Category

Goal Setting

Goal Setting is an Art

Last week we hosted our goals teleseminar and the feedback was incredible! If you were not able to catch the live program it is available at the link below.

www.universityofyou.ca/GoalsRecording

With all the amazing reaction we have gathered from this program, we are even more excited for our tele-forum which we are hosting on October 30th at 7:00pm EST! One cannot contest the value of visioning and setting objective goals in one’s pursuit of achievement and thus happiness.

Unlike the teleseminar, this program will include a tremendous amount of listener participation. It will allow each participant to listen to the thoughts, strategies and ideas of all the callers so that we can foster an environment of directly applicable education. Together, we address every issue you might have in order to allow a renewed understanding of YOUR vision and goals. During the tele-forum, we will not speak in generalities, but instead address each of your individual questions, challenges, etc. The group environment allows us to all learn from each other. There is truly no better method to significantly impact your life than listening to the words and experiences of others.

In addition to the tele-forum you will receive:

  • Access to recording of the fully packed Tele-forum with activities that will create clarity and get you moving towards reaching your goals
  • Class worksheets and homework activities to keep your momentum rolling
  • A group coaching call the following week to continue to support your next step in your Goal Setting Challenge
  • NEW clients only Monday Morning Power Hour Group that will be held the week after the group coaching call to continue the momentum even longer

Click on the link below if you would like personalized and direct coaching in your pursuit of vision and goal setting excellence!

www.universityofyou.ca/GoalsForum

Thank you for BEING you!

With Love and Well BEing,

Tam

Live With Intention!

www.tammyrowlandcoaching.com

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smart

S-M-A-R-T!

When you ask people about setting goals, they seem to be in either one camp or the other – they either do it or they don’t.

One of the reasons that people don’t like setting goals is because more often then not, their goals never come to be, so they just have resolved that setting goals may work for everyone else, but not for them.

There is no doubt that setting goals is one of the best things you can do to make positive changes in your life. But there is a strategy to setting goals in a way that will better insure your success – you have to do it S-M-A-R-T.

S-M-A-R-T is an acronym to follow that will help you create goals that have more substance and a better chance of it coming to fruition.

Setting S-M-A-R-T goals means to make them Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. You define them clearly with a realistic, yet challenging, quantifiable, achievable, and time bound plan. Go back and look at your goals and be sure to make them S-M-A-R-T.

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Think big

Think big (Photo credit: m-c)

The most important thing you can do to change your life is to change your thoughts. 

I know, it’s easier said than done I know.  We all have a pattern of how we process our thoughts.  For some of us this pattern serves us better than others. But the good news is that you can change it.

How do your thoughts serve you?  Can you notice them and choose what to do with them in the moment?   Or do you let your thoughts control you?  Just because a thought comes in doesn’t mean it is true, and doesn’t mean you have to think it, believe it or accept it.

Try to be more conscious of your thoughts,just like when your stomach growls for food.  And when your thoughts come, determine how they are serving you and what to do with them.  Then do it.

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Man washing dishes

Man washing dishes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Remember the times when the teacher did roll call in class and the answer after your name was called was “present”? You were fairly present at the moment you heard your name. I don’t know about you, I was somewhere else for most of high school.

Today BEing present actually shows up by participating in the moment you are in, completely. Multi-tasking be damned, just doing one thing at a time and not wandering off in body or mind to another task, problem or issue. This is not always easy, but possible.

Are you willing to practice? Start with doing a mundane chore like the dishes or sweeping the floor. While you are doing it concentrate on the actual washing/sweeping. “Get the corners.” “Flip the dish and scrub that spot”. How long before you were thinking about dealing with the kids or heading out to do other chores or maybe even adding another task while you are doing this one, like calling a friend or checking your email?

Caught you! I knew it, lots of you are like me! HA! When I want to let go of the turmoil in my head or the dreaded to-do list, I start by thinking I just want to BE. My to-BE at the moment is just to wash the dishes and when other things filter in, I note it then clear my mind to the task at hand.

It is really incredibly relaxing to do only one thing at a time. Meditative even.When did we get so busy? Why do we think that if we are only done ONE thing we must be lazy or inefficient?

Life is short and we ALL need to slow down a bit and just BE. This IS the good life and “Life is too short to be anything but happy!”

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“I’ve changed my mind.” is a full sentence. Just like “No.” we need not say more.

Do we “need” an explanation from others when they say this to us? Why?

Does a decision really need to be explained or defended? Is it really our business?

Could it be about respecting others and the decisions they make for themselves?

Is it just a bad habit that can be amended by no longer asking for an explanation?

Just wondering what you think…

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A stone sculpture of Laozi, located north of Q...

Image via Wikipedia

Lao Tzu said, “When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be.”

So when you take a good long look in the mirror and connect with your truest self, who are you right now?

This can depend on how open you are to outside information what that “who” description will look like.

It could be a physical description with all the added stuff that you have done so far in life.

It could be who you believe you have become because of all the stuff you have done or experienced so far in this life.

Some would claim to be “a child of God” likely based on a religious background or education.

Yet others will say “I am God” or “I am all things” based on spiritual practices.

I think when Lao Tzu made that statement he left it to each of us to figure out exactly where we are so that we can let it go to allow new information that can bring us to something more.

We may not have a single clue of what “MORE” could possibly look like, but to be curious is all it would take to let go of that knowing for something new.

Are you curious?

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It is important to remember that we are energy. Einstein told us that. And energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just changes form. Rhonda Byrne

What does your energy feel like today? Does it feel warm and fuzzy or overwhelmed and difficult, electric and vibrating, exhausted and dragging or calm and relaxed? Let me know how you feel.

How does your energy look? Black and cold, red and raging or brown and boring…white and illuminating or maybe yellow and cozy, how about bright and light you tell me…

Do you depend on a hit of energy from a power drink, coffee, chocolate or some outside source instead of from within?

You have a choice and if you want support on where to go from here or how to focus that energy in the way you want, well I have a tele-forum for you!

Check it out on the events page or just click here!

https://tammyrowlandcoaching.wordpress.com/upcomingevents/

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Don Juan DeMarco

Image via Wikipedia

“There are four questions of value in life…

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for,

and what is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

(Don Juan deMarco – 1995)

-Johnny Depp

How would you answer each question?

I would love it if you can add them to the comments.

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Office

Image via Wikipedia

[tweetmeme source=trcoaching] What do you do when your employee acts like the office is their personal domain?

I know that this may sound very familiar to some of you.  I will describe the situation that lead up to this coaching event.

Employer #2 John, (not his real name, of course and as there are 2, someone has to be) has walked into the office mid morning after being out of the office for a meeting. The receptionist, we will call Sue, is chatting with someone who works in a different office. She somehow acts like this office is an extension of her own and hangs out here much too long daily. This action has been irritating John for some time and as yet, not dealt with it.

Sue has works for the current employer #1 Wayne (…again, fake name) as well as for a previous employer in the same office. I suspect that Sue’s actions have not altered in many years. Often when an employee works at the same place for a long time, there is an ownership that may ensue allowing them to believe that they can make their own rules. By the way, when no office rules/boundaries have been clearly set, this seems perfectly appropriate to said employee. What possible consequences can there be with no standards stated from the employer?

John has only recently joined the team and has been taking a bit of time to become familiar with the staff and their roles in the business before taking on any changes. Wayne has been busy with his professional expertise, so managing has been a “fix as necessary” thing so adding an on-sight manager seemed  necessary – so John, #2 employer.

John was quite irritated this particular day as Sue was also shopping online. This is both unprofessional and completely inappropriate.  To be fair, there have been no rules and it is necessary to explain what is expected and the consequences when this is not fulfilled.

John waited for the person from the other office to leave Sue’s desk then once she was free from a quick business call, asked her to come to his office to speak with her privately. Remember, he has not been happy with her for some time and is angry at this moment. (Never a good time for a calm discussion) He believes he is in the right and she is in the wrong. (Clearly, emotions are running this show.) John felt he was professional and started off in a calm tone with her.

First off, he mentioned the fact that she was shopping online on company time.

Her response was she would clear the shopping site from the computer if a client came. (Apparently not near busy enough or what this looked like to her employers.)

As John was on a roll now and no longer calm (or professional) he asked about a call she had just answered before John approached her. A potential client was brushed off to someone else, who wanted some information. She clearly could have known the information considering she had worked in the business for many years. Where was her interest in actually being of service to their clientele?

Now SHE was angry and defensive then walked away.

I am sure she was quite surprised to be called on behaviour that had been quite acceptable before now.

There are some questions I asked John.

How do you want your business to be presented to the public/clients?

Professionally

Friendly

Approachable staff

Premium customer service

A team that knows what is expected of them

What are your expectations of your employees?

To be of utmost service to their clientele

To be clearly professional at all times

To work the hours they are paid for

To do and be their best at all times

To do all personal items on their own time

How will you clearly pass on this information?

I have to set aside some time to discuss this with Wayne (Employer #1- he really was first)

Write up a clear expectation for staff to follow

Explain to all staff what their expectations are and maybe why

What will be the consequences for breaking said rules?

Instant firing! Or maybe something less drastic if the offence is not the first.

Is it possible that Sue may not have known what was expected?

Yes…

How can there be more clarity with what the consequences are for the infraction?

Being clear myself with what I want for the office and getting them onboard.

How will you feel when your office runs with a full staff that are all behind you and doing what is expected?

It will be great! I imagine that the staff will feel comfortable knowing what is expected and the environment will be relaxed yet efficient. Professional yet fun as there will be no underlying energy of discontent. I will feel on top of what I am responsible for, so no anxiety or stress over things that need taking care of. I will no longer feel resentful of past management choices or staff’s poor performance as I can follow through with what I asked for. If it is not met I may remind a staff member of what is expected, then follow through with the consequences as have been set forth in advance.  It is a win-win all around!

There is a clear opportunity here for growth on everyone’s part. Coaching is a great way to get clarity and a solution so this type of issue no longer happens. It is a set up for the employee when there are no clear expectations and guidelines on appropriate behaviour and consequences within the office space and work hours.

There is need for both John and Wayne (sorry about that) to come to an agreement on their office goals, priorities as well as how the office must function. There is a necessity for clarity so the employees know what is expected of them and what the consequences will be with non-compliance. If there is a common goal and mutual benefit, they will climb on board the office band wagon to support their employers. If they do not support it, then there are choices to be made by everyone.

Coaching has allowed John to understand how this situation came about and where to go from here. I will continue to work with John as both he and the situation evolve. If you are having situations with relationships at home or at work – this may have been helpful. You may be thinking, “Yup! I am having issues just like this and I am not quite sure how to handle it.” Or maybe you just wish it would go away all by itself knowing clearly it won’t.

All relationships need to be tended to and can grow when they are. If you are ready for change and want to have a chat on how I may support you, please send me a note with your number on the contact page and I will be happy to call you at your convenience.

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7 THINGS TO GIVE YOUR BELOVED

1-      LOVE ~ Love him/her from where you are today. Not where you wish you were or were yesterday. This way you can enjoy the moment for what it is not expecting it to be different. Yesterday I was annoyed so that would be a lousy place to love him from. I may already be projecting a difficult situation I have to deal with tomorrow and be overwhelmed by it while my beloved has no clue how I feel.

2-      ACCEPTANCE ~ All my beloved wants is for me to take him as he is…not TRY to change him. This took some time to get to, but what a gift it is to spend time with someone with no agendas on either part. Controlling comes in many forms…just ask me!

3-      UNDERSTANDING ~ When they need to talk- they only want you to listen, unless they ask for an opinion- DON”T OFFER ONE! When they want your opinion, DON”T TRY TO FIX IT! When they need your expertise, unless they ask you to do it for them- DON”T TAKE OVER!

4-      LAUGHTER ~ Lighten up! Watch funny stuff like comedies, kid’s movies and cartoons together that will make you laugh. Laugh at your beloved’s jokes no matter how often you have heard them. There aren’t enough reasons to laugh, so make some up as you go along. Nobody gets me like my beloved and vice-versa, so we have tons of private jokes. Call during the day just to share in intimate chuckle, it will make your day. Life is way too short to spend it seriously.

5-      SPACE ~ This can mean both physical and mental space. I need to do things by myself – for myself and so does my beloved. We check with each other to be sure it does not inflict badly on each other, but we take time for ourselves. The mental space took me forever to sort out. It’s the space you need to think and come to your own thoughts and decisions about a thing. That means I don’t try to control the direction of my beloved’s thoughts or hurry the process along to an answer, just give the space needed for it to arise. It surprisingly doesn’t take that much time. REALLY!

6-      TIME ~ Don’t be so caught up in your own space and time that you neglect the relationship. It needs to be nurtured by both parties. You can only affect your part so step up. Start out small so as not to smother or become controlling about it. If come to gently, your beloved will come along willingly. Find a few things that you can do together where you may interact and create more opportunities to laugh and grow your intimacy. Cartoons are one thing but a walk in the park holding hands has a completely different feel about it.

7-      PUPPIES ~ This seems like a funny thing but it kind of goes along with the space thingy. My beloved always wanted a puppy. I said no after having kids, dogs (both from a previous marriage-only the kids came as a package into this one) and cats up to that point, I knew how much work was in it for me (who is in the home WAY more then my beloved). Finally after about 17 years together, kids grown and flown the coop, I surrendered to this cute puppy (from hell, actually), he was thrilled. It brought out the playful child in him. He (we) gets more exercise and spends time  in nature and outdoors playing and walking the dog. Who knew the affect an animal could have. We always had cats but a dog is truly a different relationship. Do what you will but if he REALLY wants a puppy, and you have some time on your hands, like 2 years for training, GO FOR IT! You (eventually) won’t be sorry.

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