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Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

A sweet chestnut forest in the swiss alps(Ticino)

A sweet chestnut forest in the swiss alps(Ticino) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There have been days as of late that I find myself standing in the middle of a room spinning. Not the kind you do as a kid with your arms wide looking up to the sky with puffy clouds and the sun peaking through. The kind where you can’t decide what to do next. I do know that this is temporary. My environment is not optimal at the moment with moving boxes everywhere and none of my “STUFF” anywhere nearby or handy.

Then there are moments where I do not feel connected to much of anything. This is a fairly rare event. Usually if I am tired or overwhelmed this is a possible outcome to just being DONE! An escape I think.

Now when I am grounded there are decisions to be made and they happen easily. Things to be done and are. Calls to be made and loads of to-dos which are systematically checked of the list and on I go with no real thought to it. When I am grounded all is really quite right in my world.

The floating, spinning me needs help at times and that is where the important stuff shows up. All I need do is realize that I am not grounded and I feel out of sorts in any way and I can ground myself. I have read books on the subject and I can tell you there are many. The simplest one I have found is Karla McLaren’s “your AURA and your CHAKRAS – The Owner’s Manual”.

If you are not sure about all this stuff or it seems BUNK to you take a moment to reflect a time when someone else was “in your space” or seemed to be “plugged  in” to you and drained all your energy. Or how you feel walking in nature or playing frisbee on the lawn or in a park. Part of that is about being grounded as well as doing something you are enjoying.

Having a bad moment go stick your hands in the garden and pull some weeds. Go for a stroll where the terra firm is below you not below the cement.  Stand on the ground and imagine your feet are like trunks of a tree and send a strong root system into the ground. There are some real lessons on how to ground yourself in this book and there are even grounding mats available out there to buy that are supposed to have a similar affect.

The point in all of this is to know when you are not grounded and find a way to get there. Look, even if this stuff still seems like “BUNK” to you. Take the time to check your presence in the moment and if you are not there, but somewhere else- take the time to breathe and notice where you are and what are you doing and connect yourself to that moment. Staying in the present is a great way to ditch the past and not get hung up in a future that has not happened yet.

At this moment I am writing a thought to those of you who have taken the time to read this thought. That is all, no more. Enjoy being grounded!

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What are you postponing right now?

Worrying about “it” is not an effective way of dealing with “it”. All you have done is keep the negative energy around it alive. Facing it and clearing it from your life instantly adds energy to you. Makes you lighter somehow. Even if the “it” was painful or difficult, you are now able to let it go and move on to something else. Life was meant to live, not to be postponed to a later date. What are you postponing right now?

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Why not live life as a blonde?

I remember a commercial from decades ago told us if we did not like who we were we could “live it as a blonde”. As if changing our hair color was all we had to do. Is it really that simple? It has not been for me, how about you?

If you don’t like what’s happening to or around you – what are you doing about it?

If you want your life to be different who are you willing to become to be able to have that?

Life is good- even when it’s difficult or sad or when you are blue. Think of the alternatives.

You could have less than you do right at this very moment…yes you want more of something, but more than what exactly?

Do you know what you want? All you have to do is ask yourself, “What exactly do I want?”

Easy question but are you ready for the answer? Better yet are you ready to change? You will need to make some changes or you would have “it” already!

It’s not difficult but it is a process and if you are the impatient kind of person, this will add a different dimension to slow!  Slow can mean steady when you are doing the next thing that will facilitate the change but usually change needs choice then courage then persistence then a new habit.

Don’t stop now! You deserve to have what you want and dream about. Just because it will take more than five minutes to get there doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort! The effort is part of the glory at the end when we know we did it!  Some folks can get a book to give them the guidance to start heading in the right direction while others need a cheerleader or someone who helps them connect with their Inner Guidance System.

That cheerleader can come in many forms. A good friend or relative, an excellent boss or even a hired hand can support you through whatever part of the path that needs it. The dedicated hands will be there to ask the hard questions and prod you on. You may not even like the kind of assistance they can give you but it is easier when it’s not a boss or spouse. Not great for building relationships if you come off not appreciative for the aide.

There are lots of tools on the internet that can get you started. The first step is a desire to change then the rest is just one step at a time.  Mind Tools is a good website resource that has all kinds of tools that can get you started, but if you decide you want a coach, of course there is me but there is also a load of info on coaching at findacoach.com.

If life for you is a simple as changing your hair colour then go for it! Live it as a blond, brunet, red head or just let it go grey, naturally. Even that takes time if you have been covering it up for a time. Cut it short and start from scratch. The results will be different and everything can change, from the colour and length of our hair, to what we do and more importantly how we feel about our SELF.

Live the life you love and love the life you live!

Life is good, isn’t it!

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“I’ve changed my mind.” is a full sentence. Just like “No.” we need not say more.

Do we “need” an explanation from others when they say this to us? Why?

Does a decision really need to be explained or defended? Is it really our business?

Could it be about respecting others and the decisions they make for themselves?

Is it just a bad habit that can be amended by no longer asking for an explanation?

Just wondering what you think…

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Life has a way of showing us the way,

which may rarely be where we were heading.

Know that you are never alone on this path…gratefully.

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A dear friend mentioned that self esteem comes from our parents. This was not news to me as I thought it was about our sense of value and that it most likely came from our parents…they/we are always the culprits. More importantly and specifically it is from being consciously listened to with eye contact. This sounds simple right? Not so simple these days. The busier we are the more things we are doing at the same time fracturing our attention from others. Not on purpose as if we don’t care, we just feel the pressure of time bearing down on us and are not present in the moment.

How about when you are chatting on the phone with a friend, are you doing the dishes or feeding the dog? I have noted that there have been times when I have been doing several things simultaneously and stopped to wonder what I was doing. Writing is one thing that I do not or maybe cannot do at the same time as anything else. Working with clients is another time I can stay focused on just the other person, but as that is mostly over the telephone eye contact is rarely a part of it. Listening with intention becomes primary and equally effective when the voice is all you have. Meditation is another but almost all else it is a real effort to stay focused on just one thing, or person.

Okay, go back. Go way back (for some of us it may feel like an eternity) to when you were a child. What kind of attention did your mom give you? Was your mom attentive to you when you were a wee one toddling around? For some, you may answer “of course she was!” But for many you either hope she was, don’t know or are sure she was not.

Mom may have been overwhelmed with many children and depended on older siblings to help take care of your needs or maybe even off at work before you were even one year old. Things have changed and moms get to stay home longer than say thirty years ago. Is it possible she was at home baking cookies when you got home from school? Or was she frantically trying to get everything in the house done like laundry and supper then baths and snacks with no real time to even read a book and tuck you in with a big hug.

Was there real time for listening? Can you envision in your mind’s eye her looking into yours with loving care and attention? Some of you can and some of you are getting a little uncomfortable now and maybe even a bit resentful. This is not my goal here. It’s about how we all can make a difference for others while we go along in our day. How can we affect our children’s, parents, friends and associates lives? One person at a time we can raise their self-esteem, their sense of personal value by giving them a small moment of your time.

If you don’t think that listening has value, just go back and think about someone who did – maybe your dad, grandparent, neighbor, relative, teacher or friend. When they took the time to really give you that care and attentive listening – how did you feel? I know that I felt special. I felt worthwhile. I felt wanted. I felt cared about. I felt loved! I no longer felt invisible in the world, even if just for a moment. Somebody thought that what I had to say was important. It felt GREAT!

Even just eye contact with a stranger walking by can more often than not elicit a smile of knowing. Knowing that they really are alive and seen by at least one other person can lift their spirit. We can go along our days unconsciously hardly seeing another person or we can make a decision that we matter enough, others matter enough to give them the time and care to stop, look and listen.

If you want to lift the SPIRIT through the self esteem of our world one person at a time, please forward this post on.

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Time…how is it treating you?

Does time get away from you? Is there enough time in your day…your Life? Do you do the things you really want to do? Is your time filled with other peoples priorities? Is there just too much to do in the 24 hours of your day? Is it all you can do to not pull the blankets over your head because your day is already overwhelming and you have not even put your feet on the floor yet?

I used to feel overwhelmed every day. I said “yes” before thinking about what I was saying “no” to. This left me with resentment, exhaustion and completely overwhelmed. In the end no time left for me or what was important to me. What energy could I possibly have left to enjoy what was important to me? NONE!

Have you taken some time recently to do absolutely nothing? Spending it wistfully waiting for the calm in your mind? Listening to your breath? Slowly coming to the present moment…the moment when it is only the stillness of your body and mind in sync with that particular moment of time. Sitting comfortable or maybe laying on the floor or on a blanket on the ground under a tree. Breathe in through your nose, to the count of 4 – hold for a count of 4, blow out through your mouth to the count of 4. Again…and again…

Is it not working yet? Keep going – until you feel the little hair on your top lip move from the in breath and the air over your lips on the out. Until you feel the inhale deep in the lower parts of your lungs as it expands on every breath in and drops on the exhale. This may not be easy but it is simple – awareness – thoughtfulness. When you finally get the hang of it you can enjoy the peace of that moment and notice what enters your mind. Acknowledge it and set it free coming back to counting every time.

When you feel fully relaxed you may open your eyes and notice what is around you. Your ability to focus sharpens through this process so things you see will seem brighter and clearer. Ideas will be quite vivid and formed. You can feel clearly connected to your intuition within this space.

I was quite amazed how I felt at first! The true calmness of my mind was unexpected. My body was relaxed but I had not experience such quiet in my head…not gerbils running amok on the wheels in my head. I needed more of this feeling, but it took many times and some years before my mind emptied so regularly I had to check in to be sure that it was still working! It worked overtime for decades!

This practice allowed me to figure out what was important to me. How was I going to simplify so that I could live in a way that was in line with what I wanted…not what the rest of the world seemed to want from me. I needed the peace in my head to give me space to hear what the Universe, my Higher Power or God had in store for me. My ideas were not working so well so I needed to learn how to turn ME off. Decisions come easier, as well. This practice was a great start to that process. It gave me…time. I gratefully took it.

I believe that anyone can learn how to do this. I am sure that some of you are masters at this, I am still a novice to be sure. I am not a silent retreat person, although I have heard of people who go on these retreats for up to ten days! I am not ready for that but I can sit and read for an entire day under the umbrella on the back deck only occasionally talking to my dog, Max. Looking up to watch the bird at the feeder two feet away or a bee collecting pollen from the flowers just beyond my knees can give me an incredible moment of delight. I can enjoy watching the sheets flap in the wind on the clothes line knowing that they will be fresh and crisp on our bed tonight. The full enjoyment of many such moments are meditation to me as all else leaves my mind in peace…these are the moments that remind me to live in the moment.

“This too shall pass” was not a statement made for only the uncomfortable or difficult moments. It is also for those moments of pure joy that will pass onto the regular moments of life. When we get really good at living, there can be an incredible peace that hits us when we can relish the wonderfulness in the  moments we are living – as they are lived. Now that is perfection! I don’t expect to get to perfection, but life can feel perfect one moment at a time – maybe a couple of times in my day. For now that feels pretty perfect to me!

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