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Posts Tagged ‘affirmation’

[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] Last week Eve was working on her issues with “shoulding” all over herself. I am please to say that it seems she is right on top of it. I haven’t heard “should” once in our whole week of conversations and emails. She says she hardly catches herself saying it and corrects it immediately with an appropriate decisive statement. Congratulations, Eve!

This week Eve is talking about acceptance. I asked what kinds of things she had issues accepting.  Things at the top of her list were her life being up in the air due to hubbies consulting company. This one seems to affect several decisions on her home renovations due to possible moves. Her lack of self- esteem and confidence as well as her weight (which has been up and down for as long as she could remember) seemed to be real issues as well.  

I asked her to think about what it was that really bothered her about the renovations in the home. She claimed not being able to make any decisions and not knowing what to do while she waited. Not feeling in control of HER home was very difficult for her. She would toss things by her husband if things were going to cost a bit, but normally she had carte blanche in making any changes.

What changes would be good if they moved? Closer to children and friends was at the top of the list. These were pretty important to her as family has always been her priority. If they moved it would also take them farther from aging parents and her siblings with their families and friends. I think we are getting warmer here.

If she could make the choice now, which would she choose? Stay or go? Here it is, the dilemma, she didn’t know.  Does she need to know right now when she does not have all the information from her spouse at this point? No, as a matter of fact it was so up in the air- it could be weeks or months before the decision may need to be made.

Is it possible that with more information the decision may be easier? Yes, there seem to be so many variables that to make one now seemed impossible. So there- no decision need be made at this time, so Eve could let go of the renovation as not that important. Nothing they could not live another year if they had to, and she would wait until they had more information to make the decision.  It was not the control of the house but the unknown possibilities and how they may affect her.

 I asked Eve what she was not confident about. What were her assets? The list went on for some time leading with things like great organizer, good housekeeper, good cook, sense of humour, positive and optimistic, fun and creative, good mom, sister, wife, daughter and friend, caring, giving, loving, affectionate, understanding…The list is not near done, but I asked what part of that she felt she needed to be better at. She didn’t think any of them so I mentioned that maybe she was confident at the skills and assets she has listed so that maybe that wasn’t quite the issue. She agreed completely.

Self-esteem was another story, as it was about what she felt she didn’t have.  Smaller dress size, a career, the same stuff her brothers had, being so hard on herself about not being perfect. Bingo! Perfectionism!  Again the list of qualities that I would say mirrored her former list and then some. How is perfectionism harming your life? “Feel bad about me; want what others have, feel like I am never going to be skinny enough or good enough!”

 What does Eve want that she doesn’t already have? Acceptance that she is good enough just the way she is. AHHHH! A suggestion – Make a sign that says “I am good enough, just the way I am.” and stick it on her bedroom mirror. She felt this would help and she would do it. This is a great affirmation note for Eve’s mirror.

What does an empowered Eve look like? Confident, accepting of self, realize that I am as good as anybody else, happier within myself AND a dress size smaller!” Eve says with a chuckle. I know that this is still the goal and encourage her to keep doing what she is doing to get there, but the work she is doing here will support that goal. Are there some goals you need support with?

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]
My Commitment to Myself as the Woman I was Meant to Be 
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I won’t look back, slow down, back away or be still.
My past is redeemed.
My present makes sense.
My future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, colourless dreams, and small vision, cheap living and dwarfed goals.
I will work daily towards my goals. I will write daily for my spirit.
I now live by Faith, lean on my Higher Power through prayer, meditation and action.
I HAVE THE COURAGE TO TRUST MYSELF. I TRUST MYSELF TO BE COURAGEOUS.
I cannot be bought, compromised, lured away, turned back, detoured or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of fear, and negotiate at the table of the enemy or meander in a maze of mediocrity.
I need to stand up and stand out. I am unique and proud of it.
I will start every day expecting miracles will happen to me and I will approach every task with excitement, enthusiasm, courage and faith.
What I do makes a difference to those around me – my family, friends and my community.
I possess tremendous power as a woman and I make a difference in the world.

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