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Posts Tagged ‘experience’

what-if

what-if (Photo credit: cambiodefractal)

Great leaders that have gone before us have told us that one of the secrets to their success is to start acting like you are a success before you are one.

Picture yourself, carry yourself, and talk to yourself as f you have already achieved the level of success you desire.

Think about how you would act, what your lifestyle would be like, what you would do with your time, the clothes that you would wear, and the car you would drive.

Think about these things often. Taste them, feel them, smell them and hear them. Experience them with your whole BEing again and again.

You become what you think about. AND you become what you move toward. Start moving in the direction of who you want to BE by acting as if you are already there.

Post who you are BEcoming for the collective energy to surround you and make the BEcoming even more amazing!

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Duct-tape Moving Van

Duct-tape Moving Van (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The weekend is near and more boxes to be packed. There is much inconvenience to putting things out of reach. I have already gone in search of things packed away so I am resistant to do much more too early so this does not become a new ritual.

Convenience is something we all want in everything we do. We want everything at our fingertips. The ideal kitchen would have a million cupboards with nothing two deep. You would not have to move one thing to access another.

Our sock and underwear drawers would be one deep and our closets would all be huge. This may or may not be realistic for us, but can we create a simple enough system for ourselves that will be good enough? Why not, I ask myself.

With moving to a new home, there is a great opportunity to reorganize and as I have already decluttered through the packing process, there is less to organize. I will buy bins and put labels on them and have a friend come and help with the kitchen and yet another with the office. They each have special talents that I will be grateful for.

Maybe this little story has revved up the organizer in you to sort out a cupboard, or pretend you are moving a purge some “useful to someone else” stiff.

Life can be complicated, but my space doesn’t have to be so I am going with the “Keep is Simple, Sweetie” motto and pack a few more boxes this weekend and label them well in case I need dig for some “important item” I cannot wait until June to see again.

Have a simply wonderful day!

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“I’ve changed my mind.” is a full sentence. Just like “No.” we need not say more.

Do we “need” an explanation from others when they say this to us? Why?

Does a decision really need to be explained or defended? Is it really our business?

Could it be about respecting others and the decisions they make for themselves?

Is it just a bad habit that can be amended by no longer asking for an explanation?

Just wondering what you think…

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Life has a way of showing us the way,

which may rarely be where we were heading.

Know that you are never alone on this path…gratefully.

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A dear friend mentioned that self esteem comes from our parents. This was not news to me as I thought it was about our sense of value and that it most likely came from our parents…they/we are always the culprits. More importantly and specifically it is from being consciously listened to with eye contact. This sounds simple right? Not so simple these days. The busier we are the more things we are doing at the same time fracturing our attention from others. Not on purpose as if we don’t care, we just feel the pressure of time bearing down on us and are not present in the moment.

How about when you are chatting on the phone with a friend, are you doing the dishes or feeding the dog? I have noted that there have been times when I have been doing several things simultaneously and stopped to wonder what I was doing. Writing is one thing that I do not or maybe cannot do at the same time as anything else. Working with clients is another time I can stay focused on just the other person, but as that is mostly over the telephone eye contact is rarely a part of it. Listening with intention becomes primary and equally effective when the voice is all you have. Meditation is another but almost all else it is a real effort to stay focused on just one thing, or person.

Okay, go back. Go way back (for some of us it may feel like an eternity) to when you were a child. What kind of attention did your mom give you? Was your mom attentive to you when you were a wee one toddling around? For some, you may answer “of course she was!” But for many you either hope she was, don’t know or are sure she was not.

Mom may have been overwhelmed with many children and depended on older siblings to help take care of your needs or maybe even off at work before you were even one year old. Things have changed and moms get to stay home longer than say thirty years ago. Is it possible she was at home baking cookies when you got home from school? Or was she frantically trying to get everything in the house done like laundry and supper then baths and snacks with no real time to even read a book and tuck you in with a big hug.

Was there real time for listening? Can you envision in your mind’s eye her looking into yours with loving care and attention? Some of you can and some of you are getting a little uncomfortable now and maybe even a bit resentful. This is not my goal here. It’s about how we all can make a difference for others while we go along in our day. How can we affect our children’s, parents, friends and associates lives? One person at a time we can raise their self-esteem, their sense of personal value by giving them a small moment of your time.

If you don’t think that listening has value, just go back and think about someone who did – maybe your dad, grandparent, neighbor, relative, teacher or friend. When they took the time to really give you that care and attentive listening – how did you feel? I know that I felt special. I felt worthwhile. I felt wanted. I felt cared about. I felt loved! I no longer felt invisible in the world, even if just for a moment. Somebody thought that what I had to say was important. It felt GREAT!

Even just eye contact with a stranger walking by can more often than not elicit a smile of knowing. Knowing that they really are alive and seen by at least one other person can lift their spirit. We can go along our days unconsciously hardly seeing another person or we can make a decision that we matter enough, others matter enough to give them the time and care to stop, look and listen.

If you want to lift the SPIRIT through the self esteem of our world one person at a time, please forward this post on.

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]Realize the Life You Want with Time and Energy to Spare!

Do you want …to have more time doing the fun stuff with family and friends?

…more vacations- short and extended? …long weekends – ALWAYS!

____________________________________-(YOU fill in the Blank)

Do you think you work best under pressure but regularly miss the mark?

Are there deadlines for goals that are not met so you don’t get the bonus,

paycheck, or client you really want? What’s the “REAL” cost to being Rushed, Stressed, Hurried and Worried?

When you think about how much work it takes to build your business, do you feel Exhausted and Overwhelmed?

Have Time Management books left no lasting results? Have you misplaced the joy and balance between work and your personal life?

Can you remember the last time you were “PRESENT” during “fun times”?

Not thinking or worrying about work when you were doing the “fun stuff”

knowing everything was taken care of?

Or being at work thinking you “SHOULD” be with the family or elsewhere?

How Much More Money Will You Make When You Master Time & Energy?

 What is it worth to you to master you psychology and have your life back?

This “Elite Tele-forum Series” will be held by conference call.

Participants are Professionals who want support, personal development and well being.

This Tele-forum will impact…

Your health, your relationships, your life that may feel like it’s passing you by, the feeling of being alivePlus Your attractiveness to your clients and no more missed opportunity!

You will learn everything you need to know to get control of your time! You will get MORE energy to clear the chaos and free up your time to live your BEST life!

This “Elite Tele-forum Series” is limited to an exclusive 16 for Participation purposes!

Tuesday’s from 7:30-9 p.m. EST on September 6, 13, & 27th, 2011

Your investment in yourself is a low introductory offer of $199 –

When you register with a friend you will pay only $149- (+taxes)

 At this price it will fill quickly, so call Tammy and Register NOW!

514-918-5476 or email at tammyrowland@bell.net

For more info and testimonials head over to the events page.

“I look forward to supporting you!”

TAMMY ROWLAND, Coach University CEG Graduate

Member of the International Coach Federation
Contact Tammy at 514-918-5476 or email tammyrowland@bell.net

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Time…how is it treating you?

Does time get away from you? Is there enough time in your day…your Life? Do you do the things you really want to do? Is your time filled with other peoples priorities? Is there just too much to do in the 24 hours of your day? Is it all you can do to not pull the blankets over your head because your day is already overwhelming and you have not even put your feet on the floor yet?

I used to feel overwhelmed every day. I said “yes” before thinking about what I was saying “no” to. This left me with resentment, exhaustion and completely overwhelmed. In the end no time left for me or what was important to me. What energy could I possibly have left to enjoy what was important to me? NONE!

Have you taken some time recently to do absolutely nothing? Spending it wistfully waiting for the calm in your mind? Listening to your breath? Slowly coming to the present moment…the moment when it is only the stillness of your body and mind in sync with that particular moment of time. Sitting comfortable or maybe laying on the floor or on a blanket on the ground under a tree. Breathe in through your nose, to the count of 4 – hold for a count of 4, blow out through your mouth to the count of 4. Again…and again…

Is it not working yet? Keep going – until you feel the little hair on your top lip move from the in breath and the air over your lips on the out. Until you feel the inhale deep in the lower parts of your lungs as it expands on every breath in and drops on the exhale. This may not be easy but it is simple – awareness – thoughtfulness. When you finally get the hang of it you can enjoy the peace of that moment and notice what enters your mind. Acknowledge it and set it free coming back to counting every time.

When you feel fully relaxed you may open your eyes and notice what is around you. Your ability to focus sharpens through this process so things you see will seem brighter and clearer. Ideas will be quite vivid and formed. You can feel clearly connected to your intuition within this space.

I was quite amazed how I felt at first! The true calmness of my mind was unexpected. My body was relaxed but I had not experience such quiet in my head…not gerbils running amok on the wheels in my head. I needed more of this feeling, but it took many times and some years before my mind emptied so regularly I had to check in to be sure that it was still working! It worked overtime for decades!

This practice allowed me to figure out what was important to me. How was I going to simplify so that I could live in a way that was in line with what I wanted…not what the rest of the world seemed to want from me. I needed the peace in my head to give me space to hear what the Universe, my Higher Power or God had in store for me. My ideas were not working so well so I needed to learn how to turn ME off. Decisions come easier, as well. This practice was a great start to that process. It gave me…time. I gratefully took it.

I believe that anyone can learn how to do this. I am sure that some of you are masters at this, I am still a novice to be sure. I am not a silent retreat person, although I have heard of people who go on these retreats for up to ten days! I am not ready for that but I can sit and read for an entire day under the umbrella on the back deck only occasionally talking to my dog, Max. Looking up to watch the bird at the feeder two feet away or a bee collecting pollen from the flowers just beyond my knees can give me an incredible moment of delight. I can enjoy watching the sheets flap in the wind on the clothes line knowing that they will be fresh and crisp on our bed tonight. The full enjoyment of many such moments are meditation to me as all else leaves my mind in peace…these are the moments that remind me to live in the moment.

“This too shall pass” was not a statement made for only the uncomfortable or difficult moments. It is also for those moments of pure joy that will pass onto the regular moments of life. When we get really good at living, there can be an incredible peace that hits us when we can relish the wonderfulness in the  moments we are living – as they are lived. Now that is perfection! I don’t expect to get to perfection, but life can feel perfect one moment at a time – maybe a couple of times in my day. For now that feels pretty perfect to me!

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Be Happy

Image via Wikipedia

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” Unknown

This quote says so much to me. I used to be ‘in’ the drama and maybe even created a great deal of it early on in life. I didn’t know how not to or even that I had a choice. What a wonderful revelation that it was possible to remove myself from the drama in other peoples life, even some that were family, unfortunately. Life is much simpler without it and full of peace and joy.

I can choose to love everyone from a distance. I can choose to detach in a loving way when they are in my space if I cannot actually move myself physically. This is all about choice. How terrific is that. This is something that took me over 40 years to figure out and gratefully I did. I am not saying that I am perfect at this in any way, as I can slip up when my cup is not full. I am more likely to react vs. respond when I am tired. The deal is to know where I am at – and to make good choices based on what I want, knowing this information first.

Surrounding myself with folks that make me happy and laugh out loud is important to me. I can love them for who they are and be grateful for all that they give me unconditionally. This is much harder with folks that have the same blood as myself. It is much more work to discern the difference between what is right and what is necessary when it comes to who I spend my time with.

Life is too short not to enjoy it. I am happy most of the time. This does not mean I do not fall down occasionally. Actually there are tons of scars on my knees from doing so, but today I know I can just get up and try again, differently. I have enough life behind me to prove it to myself. I also expect that I will make more mistakes, but hopefully not as many as when I was young. Experience has taught me a few things. If I didn’t make more mistakes I probably didn’t try anything new or take any risks or been brave.

Life is good and being happy is better than being miserable. I know you have it in you to be happy, too. Hey, maybe you are and I am preaching to the choir! I hope so as it is so much more fun and others want to hang with the happy folks! I suspect we are already happy together somewhere in the Universe! Have a good one!

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  John W. Gardner quoted “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

 I figure life is more like drawing in permanent marker! Life has not always been easy. In fact life was pretty difficult when I was young. Mistakes seemed ever so permanent. I also thought everything was permanent. I was surely going to be in school forever! It was going to be a living hell for eternity in my first marriage. I loved those television shows that rewind bits of time and have a do-over – but life is not like that at all!

 I made some poor decisions – a ton of them actually! They were the best I could have made at the time given the circumstances and what I knew then. Even some of the choices I made I had other information but not the courage to choose differently.

 I made many mistakes, some humongous whoppers! Lots were not as important but most were UN-doable and UN-fixable. The consequences have been set and delivered. Guilt came with lots of them along with resentment and anger of others. I wanted it to be somebody else’s fault, not mine! I couldn’t have been responsible for all that carnage. All this made the consequences seem unbearable. I came through it all whole – intact. I just didn’t know how well my life would turn out even with all those mistakes and poor choices.

 If each not so good decision was written with permanent marker so were the good ones. Like my two sons from the marriage from hell as well as my beloved. So I suppose, will the better choices be that I make today with of all the amazing learning opportunities from my past. This is good information for me. I no longer have to carry the weight of those past horrors I survived, the past choices and blunders that I made as I moved along my life learning, growing and maturing.

I cannot erase my past and have a do-over, and in fact I am quite comfortable with it. I am quite good enough, thank you very much! My experiences were just that, my experiences. My life and all that came from it, wee born of all my choices, decisions, errors, blips, boo-boos, slips and miscalculations. My ego has been bumped, bruised, hurt, wounded, broken and healed over and over again. I am grateful for the humbling experiences gained along the path. I am not or ever will be perfect; nor am I alone.

 If life was art, I would be a Picasso! You sometimes couldn’t quite see what I was aiming to draw but it went down in history none the less. I am quite sure what we saw from Picasso was his best stuff! My best stuff is yet to be, and you can rest assured it will be done in permanent marker for all to see in black and white, whether I like it or not. Gracefully or clumsily I will continue on just like Picasso. Just doing the best I can, given what I know, the circumstances and courage I have at the time. Just knowing that we are not alone makes the ride seem a little bit more interesting.

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7 THINGS TO GIVE YOUR BELOVED

1-      LOVE ~ Love him/her from where you are today. Not where you wish you were or were yesterday. This way you can enjoy the moment for what it is not expecting it to be different. Yesterday I was annoyed so that would be a lousy place to love him from. I may already be projecting a difficult situation I have to deal with tomorrow and be overwhelmed by it while my beloved has no clue how I feel.

2-      ACCEPTANCE ~ All my beloved wants is for me to take him as he is…not TRY to change him. This took some time to get to, but what a gift it is to spend time with someone with no agendas on either part. Controlling comes in many forms…just ask me!

3-      UNDERSTANDING ~ When they need to talk- they only want you to listen, unless they ask for an opinion- DON”T OFFER ONE! When they want your opinion, DON”T TRY TO FIX IT! When they need your expertise, unless they ask you to do it for them- DON”T TAKE OVER!

4-      LAUGHTER ~ Lighten up! Watch funny stuff like comedies, kid’s movies and cartoons together that will make you laugh. Laugh at your beloved’s jokes no matter how often you have heard them. There aren’t enough reasons to laugh, so make some up as you go along. Nobody gets me like my beloved and vice-versa, so we have tons of private jokes. Call during the day just to share in intimate chuckle, it will make your day. Life is way too short to spend it seriously.

5-      SPACE ~ This can mean both physical and mental space. I need to do things by myself – for myself and so does my beloved. We check with each other to be sure it does not inflict badly on each other, but we take time for ourselves. The mental space took me forever to sort out. It’s the space you need to think and come to your own thoughts and decisions about a thing. That means I don’t try to control the direction of my beloved’s thoughts or hurry the process along to an answer, just give the space needed for it to arise. It surprisingly doesn’t take that much time. REALLY!

6-      TIME ~ Don’t be so caught up in your own space and time that you neglect the relationship. It needs to be nurtured by both parties. You can only affect your part so step up. Start out small so as not to smother or become controlling about it. If come to gently, your beloved will come along willingly. Find a few things that you can do together where you may interact and create more opportunities to laugh and grow your intimacy. Cartoons are one thing but a walk in the park holding hands has a completely different feel about it.

7-      PUPPIES ~ This seems like a funny thing but it kind of goes along with the space thingy. My beloved always wanted a puppy. I said no after having kids, dogs (both from a previous marriage-only the kids came as a package into this one) and cats up to that point, I knew how much work was in it for me (who is in the home WAY more then my beloved). Finally after about 17 years together, kids grown and flown the coop, I surrendered to this cute puppy (from hell, actually), he was thrilled. It brought out the playful child in him. He (we) gets more exercise and spends time  in nature and outdoors playing and walking the dog. Who knew the affect an animal could have. We always had cats but a dog is truly a different relationship. Do what you will but if he REALLY wants a puppy, and you have some time on your hands, like 2 years for training, GO FOR IT! You (eventually) won’t be sorry.

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