Posts Tagged ‘Food’

[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]After being honest with me last week about her REAL “closet eating” issues, today we find out how she worked through her week with food.

The first thing Eve told me was that she wrote down everything, not leaving one morsel out! As she has been weighing is at a weight loss clinic for several months, she went in with all of it in hand. Eve had a day where she needed a fix and ate a box of chocolates and wrote it down as well.  The woman on the other side of the counter was quite critical about what her week. Eve went on to describe the woman as not so perfect herself and somewhat pushy, cocky and arrogant.

I asked if the woman may have been reacting to her defensiveness about what she had done. Quite possibly she said, as they had always been kind in the past. It had been uncomfortable to show her actions on paper to someone else which made her feel like she had to defend herself. Calming down she was able to mention her commitment to herself and felt more power and on another occasion had only a sliver of pie with no desire to sneak more. The sign on her fridge door was a constant reminder that it was “Just for Today” she needed to stay focused on with food.

Had she any new thoughts this week as she moved along her path to being honest with herself? Eve mentioned that she had been a pleaser all her life and worked very hard to make others happy. Now she realized that she is a good person, and needs to make her priority her own happiness. The sign that she was “good enough” last week was a great reminder as well. Eve says she walks a little prouder and everything she does is important, not menial. Everyone’s job is equally important.

Life is “ever interesting” with her spouse and the job decisions up in the air right now. Eve is now realizing that this time in her life is serving a purpose for her. When her spouse has made good decisions in the past, she usually says “I hate it when you’re right!” A great phrase to practice instead of saying you are wrong (as he never believes that he is and she is right sometime too) could be “You may be right.” There is no defensiveness or criticism in this statement. Eve loved this and could hardly wait to use it.

How has being honest with yourself this week changed how you feel about yourself?

“More relaxed and definitely more empowered! It is surprisingly less work than hiding things. I feel more in control and definitely prouder of myself even when I am not perfect.”

 How is not being perfect changing your life?

“It seems less important that it used to be. It was always the barometer of where I needed to be.”

What will you do this week to commit to this honest path of yours?

“To continue to be honest with myself and write down what I am eating no matter what it is.”

 Come back next week to see Eve honestly on her way to the bottom of it all!

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]Last week Eve was working on not criticizing her husband as a driver or anything else. This has been a challenge, but she catches herself and sometimes even before it leaves her lips! This is progress for Eve and she is moving forward in other areas of her life.

Eve brought up guilt today and went on to talk about how she was not doing as well as she thought she could. Eve has been a “closet eater” all her life and feels she has been letting herself down. She couldn’t even write down everything she ate. She would say she had a cookie not 4. Eve had no acceptance of her lack of will-power and has a desire to” PERFECT” this part of her life with healthy eating and no longer “dieting”.

How does “PERFECT” look to you? Eating just what I need not all the extra. Being the right size and liking what I see in the mirror. Not feeling bad about my lack of self-control in this area. Not being secretive about my eating. What if you weren’t “PERFECT” at this? I’m not but I would like to change it! Trying to be perfect makes me feel awful.

There had been some friends over to have dinner and once again she had the tiniest sliver of dessert as she was watching her weight while the company was over. After everyone else left and her beloved was out of sight she ate another piece of dessert the size she had really wanted. She felt bad about this but it had been her habit to do this for so long it was normal. Another day she brought her spouse and herself out a piece of chocolate that had been a treat only to go back and eat half the box out of sight of him.  

I asked if she ever considered confiding in her husband that she was a closet eater or just eating what she wanted in front of him. Immediately, Eve said that he would not care what she ate or what her dress size was just as long as she was happy. It really wasn’t about him it was about her.

I asked if she would consider telling him and how she would feel about it. A hesitant “maybe” was her answer- followed by her desire to be more open. He did wonder why she struggled with her weight with the amount of food he saw her eat, feeling her frustration. She realized that she had been closer to her beloved since she has been working with me so she was warming to the idea. Eve said that she was sure it would feel good to not hide her eating and that admitting it would mean no more secrets. This was appealing to Eve. The thought gave her a bit of a knot in her stomach none the less.

Eve mentioned that her awareness of herself has made it much easier to be in control. Better in most ways and said that everything doesn’t have to be so serious. Maybe food can be put there too!

Eve has moved from apprehension about the direction of their life because of her husband’s work choices and is noticing more trust and faith in him. This seems to be moving in all areas of her life and feels good because she knows that past choices have all worked out and so will future ones. In the past apprehensions and waiting has sent her to the closet. She would rather know what is going to happen then be in the waiting game, though. Can she stay in her day with her eating? This is going to be the challenge that would not go away overnight.

Honesty with herself is key to her weight issues and I asked if she was willing to start with being honest with herself by writing down every morsel she is consuming from an extra chocolate or 6 to a handful of chocolate chips.  Eve is determined to follow through this week. I had two suggestions to keep in front of her this week. One a sign on her mirror that says “I AM good enough!” and the second for her fridge that says “Just for Today”. She was on it! We will check back next week to see how she is doing. Are you or have you secretly been a “closet eater?” I would be happy to hear your comments on this issue!

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I know what you are thinking. Monster’s only eat little children after their parents have tucked them snugly in their beds. Nope that is not the monster I am talking about today. I am talking about the monster in the closet! Check this out…what do you think about this?

Do you have a diet that looks anything like these?

All sugar no vegetables

High carbohydrates low protein

All dairy no fruit

Tons of meat no veggies

Only prepackaged food no whole food

All wasted calories with not near enough healthy stuff!

How is that affecting your body?

When we think of diet we think of only what we ingest –through our mouths.

What about what you take in through your ears?

How is that affecting your spirit?

How about this diet? 

All talk no listening

Lots of gossip no real connecting

Only negativity no positivity

Maybe high values but low standards

To busy hiding to be vulnerable

And the list goes on…

This is a diet that will affect who you really are on the inside, don’t you think? It may even affect how you treat your body, feeding it physical rubbish while you take in all that mental junk. With all the corners being full of life limiting garbage, how much room is there for things that can feed you well?

I can say that the more I was in the negative space of a crappy marriage, the more I fed my body empty calories making me feel even emptier as I was never satisfied.  I have never seen a well balanced person who is 50 pounds overweight unless they are unwell physically. I used to eat those emotions…or might I just say feed the monster inside that only wanted chocolate and cookies. That monster never said “May I have a carrot?” Nope the monster loves sugar, fat and carbs. Nary a veggie or apple in sight!

So if you look into your cupboards and fridge and only see the “monster’s” food, you may want to see what your mental diet has been lately. How do you think it is affecting you?

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] I was reading a list of healthy habits that may be helpful so figured I will list them for you.
Make social connections – funny this was last week’s new addition #4 to my 10 energizing habits! I always have had them but the ones I wanted, were not in my periphery. I connected with 7 of my pals that I had not for some weeks and in some cases some months. It felt really good. I am so glad that habit is on my list!

Eat healthy – I do…except when I do not. Maybe one to add to my energizing list!

Sleep 8 hours – almost every night. My body needs it but some nights are just off, thank goodness it’s not very often.

Eat breakfast – Always! I have a HUGE list of friends that also do because I used to nag them about it. I no longer nag.

Exercise- this is one that needs some attention.

Good dental hygiene…I can be lax with flossing and sometimes late for my morning brush.

Take up a hobby- create and stretch your mind…I read and write…all kinds of things.

Protect your skin – this one I am pretty good at when it comes to the sun as I burn like a high sugar cookie in a hot oven…not very pretty. But I could add more moisturizer as I am over 50 and the collagen has reduced and I do not recognize the skin on my body.

Eat healthy snacks – sometimes I do- fruit is great this time of year…sometimes I don’t, I just love chocolate and cookies!

Drink water – I have read all kinds of things about water being separate and inclusive of other beverages one drinks. I go with together as I do drink tea, probably 4-6 mugs and I use water to take my supplements (when I remember) and have water at my bedside as the ceiling fan gives me dry mouth. Probably too much information, sorry.

Eat dairy – I drink several of my cups of tea with milk, I am of British heritage so milk is a must! Plus usually, a yogurt a day covers my necessary daily intake so, check!

Drink tea – Yes I am a tea granny. My name is Tammy and I am a Tea-aholic. I love tea so much that I had a small tea business and understand the differences in the benefits of tea whether it is white, green or black, just drink some daily! The slight difference in benefits is no reason to drink one you don’t like instead of one you do. It’s all good for you. Don’t get too hung up in black, green, white if they are not all to your taste, just drink some!

Walk daily- Now here I am good 5 days a week, but the weekend hits and I let my beloved walk Max, our dog. I suppose I could be sure to take the evening walks with them on the weekends as I love my morning quiet when they are both gone.

Plan- Now here is what I have been doing for the past few weeks, planning but also doing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad list, but most of them are only about your physical body, with only two for you – your soul, spirit, and mind. What about that essense inside of you? I some cases you need to work from the inside out. If you don’t feel worthy it’s hard to make good choices for your body. Only you know what parts need attention.

Today after reading this list, I want to work on my healthy eating as it has slipped off my radar with our holidays. A few pounds on one up then down then up again. It’s time to be on top of this. So, my energizing habit will be about healthy foods. I know the first blog on this several weeks ago, eating my fruits and veggies were not a problem, they still aren’t. What has been off is my carbohydrate intake. As much as I enjoy ice cream (YUM!), rice (much Thai food), bread (even the healthy high fiber kind) when I am not aware of how much I am consuming, I soon am consuming too much for my activity level and it all goes straight to my belly. This drags me down and my energy slows as well. So this truly is an energizing habit #5. Starting this morning I am back at writing down what I eat as that is the best way for me to pay attention. (I learned this from Weight Watchers years ago.)What have your habits been, I would love to hear from you.

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