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Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

the law of attraction

the law of attraction (Photo credit: Brenda Cooper)

Ever since the movie The Secret came out, there has been a huge buzz around the Law of Attraction and manifesting what we want through our thoughts.  This was a great tool to increase awareness within our culture of this very powerful concept.

 

Visioning what you want and believing it to be true is one of the greatest of all tools at our disposal.  We get what we think about, good or bad.

But don’t forget that all important component in the law of attraction – the second part of the word – ACTION.

You don’t need to figure out every detail of the “how”, you just need to take action and move toward your vision in faith. The rest will work itself out.

 

What actions can you start taking today to manifest what you want in your life?

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ten ; believe

ten ; believe (Photo credit: RCabanilla)

In order to receive blessings in your life you must believe 2 things.

First, you must believe that whatever you want is possible.

And second, you must believe that you deserve it.

It’s one thing to believe that it is possible to have a healthy and prosperous life, and completely another to believe that you deserve it.

You were meant to be prosperous – in health, love, joy and finance.

Do you believe that?  Or are sabotaging thoughts permitting you from receiving your blessings?

If you want to receive these blessings, then you must eliminate the sabotaging thoughts and replace it with a simple mantra that says “I deserve to receive blessings in my life.”

I have been there…that place where I did not believe. It has taken some time and effort to change that belief. That knowing that I deserve to live my dreams.

It felt as though it snuck up on me from ~I don’t know where. I had it ~ then I didn’t. Life situations did some nastiness to my belief systems then down the negative path of disbelief I went.

The good news is you can change this if it has happened with you. Start here and now to kick those old beliefs to the curb and start believing you deserve better.

Keep reading for more stuff on building a vision of your life’s dream.

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Why not live life as a blonde?

I remember a commercial from decades ago told us if we did not like who we were we could “live it as a blonde”. As if changing our hair color was all we had to do. Is it really that simple? It has not been for me, how about you?

If you don’t like what’s happening to or around you – what are you doing about it?

If you want your life to be different who are you willing to become to be able to have that?

Life is good- even when it’s difficult or sad or when you are blue. Think of the alternatives.

You could have less than you do right at this very moment…yes you want more of something, but more than what exactly?

Do you know what you want? All you have to do is ask yourself, “What exactly do I want?”

Easy question but are you ready for the answer? Better yet are you ready to change? You will need to make some changes or you would have “it” already!

It’s not difficult but it is a process and if you are the impatient kind of person, this will add a different dimension to slow!  Slow can mean steady when you are doing the next thing that will facilitate the change but usually change needs choice then courage then persistence then a new habit.

Don’t stop now! You deserve to have what you want and dream about. Just because it will take more than five minutes to get there doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort! The effort is part of the glory at the end when we know we did it!  Some folks can get a book to give them the guidance to start heading in the right direction while others need a cheerleader or someone who helps them connect with their Inner Guidance System.

That cheerleader can come in many forms. A good friend or relative, an excellent boss or even a hired hand can support you through whatever part of the path that needs it. The dedicated hands will be there to ask the hard questions and prod you on. You may not even like the kind of assistance they can give you but it is easier when it’s not a boss or spouse. Not great for building relationships if you come off not appreciative for the aide.

There are lots of tools on the internet that can get you started. The first step is a desire to change then the rest is just one step at a time.  Mind Tools is a good website resource that has all kinds of tools that can get you started, but if you decide you want a coach, of course there is me but there is also a load of info on coaching at findacoach.com.

If life for you is a simple as changing your hair colour then go for it! Live it as a blond, brunet, red head or just let it go grey, naturally. Even that takes time if you have been covering it up for a time. Cut it short and start from scratch. The results will be different and everything can change, from the colour and length of our hair, to what we do and more importantly how we feel about our SELF.

Live the life you love and love the life you live!

Life is good, isn’t it!

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Don Juan DeMarco

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“There are four questions of value in life…

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for,

and what is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.”

(Don Juan deMarco – 1995)

-Johnny Depp

How would you answer each question?

I would love it if you can add them to the comments.

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Time…how is it treating you?

Does time get away from you? Is there enough time in your day…your Life? Do you do the things you really want to do? Is your time filled with other peoples priorities? Is there just too much to do in the 24 hours of your day? Is it all you can do to not pull the blankets over your head because your day is already overwhelming and you have not even put your feet on the floor yet?

I used to feel overwhelmed every day. I said “yes” before thinking about what I was saying “no” to. This left me with resentment, exhaustion and completely overwhelmed. In the end no time left for me or what was important to me. What energy could I possibly have left to enjoy what was important to me? NONE!

Have you taken some time recently to do absolutely nothing? Spending it wistfully waiting for the calm in your mind? Listening to your breath? Slowly coming to the present moment…the moment when it is only the stillness of your body and mind in sync with that particular moment of time. Sitting comfortable or maybe laying on the floor or on a blanket on the ground under a tree. Breathe in through your nose, to the count of 4 – hold for a count of 4, blow out through your mouth to the count of 4. Again…and again…

Is it not working yet? Keep going – until you feel the little hair on your top lip move from the in breath and the air over your lips on the out. Until you feel the inhale deep in the lower parts of your lungs as it expands on every breath in and drops on the exhale. This may not be easy but it is simple – awareness – thoughtfulness. When you finally get the hang of it you can enjoy the peace of that moment and notice what enters your mind. Acknowledge it and set it free coming back to counting every time.

When you feel fully relaxed you may open your eyes and notice what is around you. Your ability to focus sharpens through this process so things you see will seem brighter and clearer. Ideas will be quite vivid and formed. You can feel clearly connected to your intuition within this space.

I was quite amazed how I felt at first! The true calmness of my mind was unexpected. My body was relaxed but I had not experience such quiet in my head…not gerbils running amok on the wheels in my head. I needed more of this feeling, but it took many times and some years before my mind emptied so regularly I had to check in to be sure that it was still working! It worked overtime for decades!

This practice allowed me to figure out what was important to me. How was I going to simplify so that I could live in a way that was in line with what I wanted…not what the rest of the world seemed to want from me. I needed the peace in my head to give me space to hear what the Universe, my Higher Power or God had in store for me. My ideas were not working so well so I needed to learn how to turn ME off. Decisions come easier, as well. This practice was a great start to that process. It gave me…time. I gratefully took it.

I believe that anyone can learn how to do this. I am sure that some of you are masters at this, I am still a novice to be sure. I am not a silent retreat person, although I have heard of people who go on these retreats for up to ten days! I am not ready for that but I can sit and read for an entire day under the umbrella on the back deck only occasionally talking to my dog, Max. Looking up to watch the bird at the feeder two feet away or a bee collecting pollen from the flowers just beyond my knees can give me an incredible moment of delight. I can enjoy watching the sheets flap in the wind on the clothes line knowing that they will be fresh and crisp on our bed tonight. The full enjoyment of many such moments are meditation to me as all else leaves my mind in peace…these are the moments that remind me to live in the moment.

“This too shall pass” was not a statement made for only the uncomfortable or difficult moments. It is also for those moments of pure joy that will pass onto the regular moments of life. When we get really good at living, there can be an incredible peace that hits us when we can relish the wonderfulness in the  moments we are living – as they are lived. Now that is perfection! I don’t expect to get to perfection, but life can feel perfect one moment at a time – maybe a couple of times in my day. For now that feels pretty perfect to me!

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Be Happy

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“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” Unknown

This quote says so much to me. I used to be ‘in’ the drama and maybe even created a great deal of it early on in life. I didn’t know how not to or even that I had a choice. What a wonderful revelation that it was possible to remove myself from the drama in other peoples life, even some that were family, unfortunately. Life is much simpler without it and full of peace and joy.

I can choose to love everyone from a distance. I can choose to detach in a loving way when they are in my space if I cannot actually move myself physically. This is all about choice. How terrific is that. This is something that took me over 40 years to figure out and gratefully I did. I am not saying that I am perfect at this in any way, as I can slip up when my cup is not full. I am more likely to react vs. respond when I am tired. The deal is to know where I am at – and to make good choices based on what I want, knowing this information first.

Surrounding myself with folks that make me happy and laugh out loud is important to me. I can love them for who they are and be grateful for all that they give me unconditionally. This is much harder with folks that have the same blood as myself. It is much more work to discern the difference between what is right and what is necessary when it comes to who I spend my time with.

Life is too short not to enjoy it. I am happy most of the time. This does not mean I do not fall down occasionally. Actually there are tons of scars on my knees from doing so, but today I know I can just get up and try again, differently. I have enough life behind me to prove it to myself. I also expect that I will make more mistakes, but hopefully not as many as when I was young. Experience has taught me a few things. If I didn’t make more mistakes I probably didn’t try anything new or take any risks or been brave.

Life is good and being happy is better than being miserable. I know you have it in you to be happy, too. Hey, maybe you are and I am preaching to the choir! I hope so as it is so much more fun and others want to hang with the happy folks! I suspect we are already happy together somewhere in the Universe! Have a good one!

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  1. Let it go …you really can’t control your beloved, only your own behaviours. Not to be confused with giving up or giving in. Acceptance is the key to harmony. Let go, and love.
  2. Trust your beloved – they are in this relationship, too. We all get up wanting to do our best, sometimes we just miss our own mark and end up…just doing our best.
  3. Really talk ‘with’ not ‘at’ your beloved –let yourself be vulnerable. Get to really know each other. We falsely believe we know our partners well only to find out something new we didn’t know by talking and being open ourselves.
  4. Know and act like you’re in it together, not islands but not actually attached either. It is easier; believe me to do something together, because two heads are better than one. Would you have loved them the same if they were EXACTLY like you? This does not mean that you need finish each others sentences either…I personally like to finish my own. Also, have something in your life that is not connected to your beloved. You tend to appreciate each other more and it gives you something interesting to bring to the relationship.
  5. Neither of you are perfect – REALLY! This is self-explanatory, isn’t it? Yes we are ALL wrong sometimes!
  6. Laugh at your imperfections – together preferably. Look, it can be great fun to laugh at the world occasionally (providing they don’t know or get hurt by it) but to notice ones faults and still be able to laugh at yourself and not get miffed when your beloved joins in, that’s togetherness.
  7. Know that you have not always been perfect to each other… read the above for more info – if necessary.
  8. Apologize easily whenever you are wrong, and probably often. Refer to #5 if needed. But remember, continually apologizing for the same mistake gets tiresome for both parties. Isn’t it better to actually deal with the issue? It will not magically vanish into thin air without some effort.
  9. Work on your relationships daily.  The relationship is a gift that can keep on giving, if you keep on giving to it.
  10. Show and tell your beloved daily that you love them. Tell them you love them and why. Do something special for the heck of it. When was the last time you did something your partner hates just because it would remove it from their to-do list? How about flowers or dinner and a movie? If you are not the verbal kind of guy, how about a love note? It doesn’t have to be poetry, just from your heart. Do something nice without pointing it out to get credit for it. This can be a toughie for some. Don’t wait until you FEEL like it, do it NOW!
  11. Pray to have lots of days, months and years together. Even the bad moments remind us of how good the great moments are. Time is a gift. We need to treat today like it may be our last with our beloved and pray that they will be around longer than you.
  12. Get up tomorrow and do it all again, lovingly. Nobody is perfect, but as long as we can get up again, there is hope.  Start the day anew. You have it in you to forgive all past sins if you really want to live without resentments.  Besides, don’t you want all YOUR past sins forgiven?        The answer to every question is LOVE!

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  John W. Gardner quoted “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

 I figure life is more like drawing in permanent marker! Life has not always been easy. In fact life was pretty difficult when I was young. Mistakes seemed ever so permanent. I also thought everything was permanent. I was surely going to be in school forever! It was going to be a living hell for eternity in my first marriage. I loved those television shows that rewind bits of time and have a do-over – but life is not like that at all!

 I made some poor decisions – a ton of them actually! They were the best I could have made at the time given the circumstances and what I knew then. Even some of the choices I made I had other information but not the courage to choose differently.

 I made many mistakes, some humongous whoppers! Lots were not as important but most were UN-doable and UN-fixable. The consequences have been set and delivered. Guilt came with lots of them along with resentment and anger of others. I wanted it to be somebody else’s fault, not mine! I couldn’t have been responsible for all that carnage. All this made the consequences seem unbearable. I came through it all whole – intact. I just didn’t know how well my life would turn out even with all those mistakes and poor choices.

 If each not so good decision was written with permanent marker so were the good ones. Like my two sons from the marriage from hell as well as my beloved. So I suppose, will the better choices be that I make today with of all the amazing learning opportunities from my past. This is good information for me. I no longer have to carry the weight of those past horrors I survived, the past choices and blunders that I made as I moved along my life learning, growing and maturing.

I cannot erase my past and have a do-over, and in fact I am quite comfortable with it. I am quite good enough, thank you very much! My experiences were just that, my experiences. My life and all that came from it, wee born of all my choices, decisions, errors, blips, boo-boos, slips and miscalculations. My ego has been bumped, bruised, hurt, wounded, broken and healed over and over again. I am grateful for the humbling experiences gained along the path. I am not or ever will be perfect; nor am I alone.

 If life was art, I would be a Picasso! You sometimes couldn’t quite see what I was aiming to draw but it went down in history none the less. I am quite sure what we saw from Picasso was his best stuff! My best stuff is yet to be, and you can rest assured it will be done in permanent marker for all to see in black and white, whether I like it or not. Gracefully or clumsily I will continue on just like Picasso. Just doing the best I can, given what I know, the circumstances and courage I have at the time. Just knowing that we are not alone makes the ride seem a little bit more interesting.

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reflection

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Am I worth reflecting?

I read a blog post called “Clouds in a Cup” that sent me off on a reflection about reflecting.

I love it when I see the reflection of something beautiful in a window, mirror or any shiny surface worthy of it. It doubles the pleasure! Sometimes it is just like the blogger on “Love out Loud” that noticed the reflection first then took the time to enjoy it when she noticed the simple pleasure of the reflection of the clouds in her tea cup on a lovely spring day.

There are other kinds of reflections as well. I have been known to do some reflecting on the past. Past events, past reactions or responses, even past issues that seem to have re-surfaced…yet again, seem to be right there to see even if I don’t want to. These can be opportunities to see repetitive behaviours that may need amending lest they torture us for the rest of our born days.

I do love to reflect back on some of the most joyous events of my life as well. The birth of each of my sons, my weddings (Yes there were 2- the second relationship with my beloved has stuck for over 21 years!) holidays with friends and family, even time on my own that was impactful can come rushing to me in those moments.

I sometimes look at my relationships and reflect on how much I am truly involved in each of them. Am I doing my part to nurture them? Am I taking them for granted? Are they relationships that are good for both parties, or have they changed as we all do over time? Is it time to let them go on their way or do I want to step up? There is a lot to reflect on here, really!

I wonder if I am reflecting well in others. Am I seeing my mood reflected in others and is it something I am pleased about? I realize that when I am in conflict with another I may have either picked up their reflection or vice versa. This most often happens with the one who is closest, my beloved. I would love to say that if it is unpleasant, it’s his dark cloud reflection that is responsible. But it is not always true, it may have been mine. (Sssh, don’t tell him I said that!) It also may have been that I chose to engage and be that shiny reflection for him. Why couldn’t I choose to reflect back love and care, empathy and understanding instead of judgment and perhaps criticism and ridicule?

Awareness of this will allow me to notice earlier when this choice on reflecting could just happen. I can have that cuppa tea and look deep into it to see if it’s my grey cloud. I have been known to laugh at the drama and change my beloved’s spirit to something fun then he wasn’t so serious about “the stuff”. It never matters what the stuff is, just that I have a REAL choice that only takes a moment to decide what kind of reflection it will be.

If I choose to live in love, peace and harmony, I too can look into that cuppa tea and see a warm reflection of myself. I can laugh at my imperfections and be grateful for yet another moment in love with life. I can look for a smile in there and enjoy that moment too, can you?

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7 THINGS TO GIVE YOUR BELOVED

1-      LOVE ~ Love him/her from where you are today. Not where you wish you were or were yesterday. This way you can enjoy the moment for what it is not expecting it to be different. Yesterday I was annoyed so that would be a lousy place to love him from. I may already be projecting a difficult situation I have to deal with tomorrow and be overwhelmed by it while my beloved has no clue how I feel.

2-      ACCEPTANCE ~ All my beloved wants is for me to take him as he is…not TRY to change him. This took some time to get to, but what a gift it is to spend time with someone with no agendas on either part. Controlling comes in many forms…just ask me!

3-      UNDERSTANDING ~ When they need to talk- they only want you to listen, unless they ask for an opinion- DON”T OFFER ONE! When they want your opinion, DON”T TRY TO FIX IT! When they need your expertise, unless they ask you to do it for them- DON”T TAKE OVER!

4-      LAUGHTER ~ Lighten up! Watch funny stuff like comedies, kid’s movies and cartoons together that will make you laugh. Laugh at your beloved’s jokes no matter how often you have heard them. There aren’t enough reasons to laugh, so make some up as you go along. Nobody gets me like my beloved and vice-versa, so we have tons of private jokes. Call during the day just to share in intimate chuckle, it will make your day. Life is way too short to spend it seriously.

5-      SPACE ~ This can mean both physical and mental space. I need to do things by myself – for myself and so does my beloved. We check with each other to be sure it does not inflict badly on each other, but we take time for ourselves. The mental space took me forever to sort out. It’s the space you need to think and come to your own thoughts and decisions about a thing. That means I don’t try to control the direction of my beloved’s thoughts or hurry the process along to an answer, just give the space needed for it to arise. It surprisingly doesn’t take that much time. REALLY!

6-      TIME ~ Don’t be so caught up in your own space and time that you neglect the relationship. It needs to be nurtured by both parties. You can only affect your part so step up. Start out small so as not to smother or become controlling about it. If come to gently, your beloved will come along willingly. Find a few things that you can do together where you may interact and create more opportunities to laugh and grow your intimacy. Cartoons are one thing but a walk in the park holding hands has a completely different feel about it.

7-      PUPPIES ~ This seems like a funny thing but it kind of goes along with the space thingy. My beloved always wanted a puppy. I said no after having kids, dogs (both from a previous marriage-only the kids came as a package into this one) and cats up to that point, I knew how much work was in it for me (who is in the home WAY more then my beloved). Finally after about 17 years together, kids grown and flown the coop, I surrendered to this cute puppy (from hell, actually), he was thrilled. It brought out the playful child in him. He (we) gets more exercise and spends time  in nature and outdoors playing and walking the dog. Who knew the affect an animal could have. We always had cats but a dog is truly a different relationship. Do what you will but if he REALLY wants a puppy, and you have some time on your hands, like 2 years for training, GO FOR IT! You (eventually) won’t be sorry.

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