Posts Tagged ‘habits’

[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]Last week Eve was working on not criticizing her husband as a driver or anything else. This has been a challenge, but she catches herself and sometimes even before it leaves her lips! This is progress for Eve and she is moving forward in other areas of her life.

Eve brought up guilt today and went on to talk about how she was not doing as well as she thought she could. Eve has been a “closet eater” all her life and feels she has been letting herself down. She couldn’t even write down everything she ate. She would say she had a cookie not 4. Eve had no acceptance of her lack of will-power and has a desire to” PERFECT” this part of her life with healthy eating and no longer “dieting”.

How does “PERFECT” look to you? Eating just what I need not all the extra. Being the right size and liking what I see in the mirror. Not feeling bad about my lack of self-control in this area. Not being secretive about my eating. What if you weren’t “PERFECT” at this? I’m not but I would like to change it! Trying to be perfect makes me feel awful.

There had been some friends over to have dinner and once again she had the tiniest sliver of dessert as she was watching her weight while the company was over. After everyone else left and her beloved was out of sight she ate another piece of dessert the size she had really wanted. She felt bad about this but it had been her habit to do this for so long it was normal. Another day she brought her spouse and herself out a piece of chocolate that had been a treat only to go back and eat half the box out of sight of him.  

I asked if she ever considered confiding in her husband that she was a closet eater or just eating what she wanted in front of him. Immediately, Eve said that he would not care what she ate or what her dress size was just as long as she was happy. It really wasn’t about him it was about her.

I asked if she would consider telling him and how she would feel about it. A hesitant “maybe” was her answer- followed by her desire to be more open. He did wonder why she struggled with her weight with the amount of food he saw her eat, feeling her frustration. She realized that she had been closer to her beloved since she has been working with me so she was warming to the idea. Eve said that she was sure it would feel good to not hide her eating and that admitting it would mean no more secrets. This was appealing to Eve. The thought gave her a bit of a knot in her stomach none the less.

Eve mentioned that her awareness of herself has made it much easier to be in control. Better in most ways and said that everything doesn’t have to be so serious. Maybe food can be put there too!

Eve has moved from apprehension about the direction of their life because of her husband’s work choices and is noticing more trust and faith in him. This seems to be moving in all areas of her life and feels good because she knows that past choices have all worked out and so will future ones. In the past apprehensions and waiting has sent her to the closet. She would rather know what is going to happen then be in the waiting game, though. Can she stay in her day with her eating? This is going to be the challenge that would not go away overnight.

Honesty with herself is key to her weight issues and I asked if she was willing to start with being honest with herself by writing down every morsel she is consuming from an extra chocolate or 6 to a handful of chocolate chips.  Eve is determined to follow through this week. I had two suggestions to keep in front of her this week. One a sign on her mirror that says “I AM good enough!” and the second for her fridge that says “Just for Today”. She was on it! We will check back next week to see how she is doing. Are you or have you secretly been a “closet eater?” I would be happy to hear your comments on this issue!

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] Relationships are always going to be something to work on for most of us, until we accept that others are not us. They don’t completely think like us, act like us, respond like us or much else actually as they are not us. Even when you understand this and are good at acceptance I suspect that occasionally you slip (like I do). Maybe you need a refresher course of action.

Adam and Eve are a terrific couple who have been together for several decades and know each other well…well as well as one can know another person, anyway. They know all the quirks that their partner came into the relationship with and some of the rough edges have been smoothed out over time. Acceptance of those quirks has not always been easy, but to enjoy the relationship and last this long, their has to be acceptance or they would  have become the “Bickersons”! I tell you they are not.

Eve has one thing that is a bit of an issue – she picks on her spouse about driving. You know – like I wrote about in my post “I have learned…my GPS only works for me!” Well Eve had the same affliction of criticizing her spouse wondering why he drove the speed he was or didn’t take her ideal route, etc. It irritated her and she HAD to tell him. Often!

I asked her what she thought he heard when she did this behaviour.

After a moment she replied, “He’s not good enough! I don’t trust him.”

After this huge awareness (and silence) I asked if she trusted him and was he good enough.

She quickly replied that it was yes to both. As Eve had been working on being “good enough” herself this was a real stab to her that she was saying the same thing to him in this behaviour (absolutely not uncommon) and she did not want to continue doing this. She also mentioned that this was certainly not the message that she wanted to convey.

How could Eve amend the behaviour?

So I asked what she wanted to do about it.

Not do it again of course, was her answer.

How would she feel if this is how she was when she was in the car and he was going the wrong way? Probably frustrated at first, but maybe it’s not the wrong way for him.

Bingo! Revelation, now was it possible?

Eve figured it may be difficult as it had been a habit for most of their 30 years of marriage.

Could she apologize, she wasn’t sure.

How could she conscript her husband in the process?

Eve said the next time she was in the car and she felt compelled to do so she would mention it.

The next time they were in the car she commented on his driving (Darn!) and as he looked over at her she realized that she was caught in that old behaviour and immediately apologized, stating she had this overwhelming feeling to correct his driving and that she was working on eliminating it from her not so good habits. He was surprised. He didn’t know she was aware she did it in the first place as she had been a back seat driver forever! This gave Eve an added impetus to work on this. Only a short time later she caught her husband doing the same thing to Eve’s dad and poked him…they both had a good laugh about it and he is now working on it, too.

Eve is not perfect with this but catches herself and apologizes immediately. It was the largest area of criticism in her life. As she has been feeling “good enough” these days she also has not felt the need to defend herself either. All of the work that Eve has done has created incredible shifts in her thinking. Eve told me that she feels really good about giving the right message to her beloved Adam amd this goes deep to her core. I suspect that with all that she is feeling during this process of change, it will aid in the sticking of this new habit of “not doing” something and changing it for a loving action, letting go.

Eve’s knowledge that she is truly a good person and good enough as she is has changed her thoughts, attitudes then actions. This has affected her reality. As she takes care of herself and lets go of others to take care of themselves there is nothing left to defend or criticize. Hmm sounds perfect doesn’t it. Well Eve is the first to note her lack of “perfection” and her goal for the perfect body still lurks in the wings. See you next week when Eve tackles this big part of her growth!

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I know what you are thinking. Monster’s only eat little children after their parents have tucked them snugly in their beds. Nope that is not the monster I am talking about today. I am talking about the monster in the closet! Check this out…what do you think about this?

Do you have a diet that looks anything like these?

All sugar no vegetables

High carbohydrates low protein

All dairy no fruit

Tons of meat no veggies

Only prepackaged food no whole food

All wasted calories with not near enough healthy stuff!

How is that affecting your body?

When we think of diet we think of only what we ingest –through our mouths.

What about what you take in through your ears?

How is that affecting your spirit?

How about this diet? 

All talk no listening

Lots of gossip no real connecting

Only negativity no positivity

Maybe high values but low standards

To busy hiding to be vulnerable

And the list goes on…

This is a diet that will affect who you really are on the inside, don’t you think? It may even affect how you treat your body, feeding it physical rubbish while you take in all that mental junk. With all the corners being full of life limiting garbage, how much room is there for things that can feed you well?

I can say that the more I was in the negative space of a crappy marriage, the more I fed my body empty calories making me feel even emptier as I was never satisfied.  I have never seen a well balanced person who is 50 pounds overweight unless they are unwell physically. I used to eat those emotions…or might I just say feed the monster inside that only wanted chocolate and cookies. That monster never said “May I have a carrot?” Nope the monster loves sugar, fat and carbs. Nary a veggie or apple in sight!

So if you look into your cupboards and fridge and only see the “monster’s” food, you may want to see what your mental diet has been lately. How do you think it is affecting you?

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] Last week I was quite adamant on “needing stuff to feed your inner core” and actually re-read today the brush off I gave to the physical body. I believe that my intent was to go deeper as the body is the first place many go but I get it. The body needs feeding as well as the soul! There, I said it!

Energy can come from anywhere you get it. Whether it is physical fitness or treating your body like a temple by only putting good for you things past your lips, it may be something that you must do for your energy so have at it. Do whatever energizes you! Yes I am doing the things I have decided to do for energy, but as I thought about the list last week something came to me. When my body is not functioning at its best, I lose energy.

If I am not getting the sleep I need, or I am in pain this is hardly the energetic place I want to be in. Are there things that I can do that can make a difference here? A resounding yes! I go to bed consistently between 10 and 10:30 with the lights out before 11 and my lights are usually out as well.

But there are nights that I don’t fall asleep quickly because of how I am feeling, physically. I suffer with arthritis and menopause, and other stuff that can either keep me up or wake me up often many times in the night. The bottom line is I don’t not get near enough restful sleep those nights so those next days I have no energy.

So what can I do when that happens?

Be good to myself on those days.

This could mean sleeping in to get extra rest, when that is possible.

Rescheduling stuff that is reschedu-able. (I doubt that is a word!)

I can be on top of some medicines for some stuff.

I can do some new exercises I got that may deal with the source of the pain.

Maybe I can let some of my standards for things slide a bit for the day.

These are things I have control over.

What would keep me from getting to the exercise?

In the past it would have said procrastination.  (Laziness!) That is what I called it, anyway.

Today I know it has more to do with how much I value myself.

I wouldn’t have or take the time as I was so busy with other stuff and often for other people.

Today I want my “whole health” to be my priority.

I could ultimately do more of the things I love to do like coaching when I am more rested and energized.

What is the cost of me not taking care of this?

Being tired

Suffering the daily pain

Not being a very happy camper because of the pain –might affect relationships

Not being able to do lots of the things I would like to do or try and some of them with my beloved.

This is a huge cost not to do this.

The benefits far outweigh the effort involved in exercising. I will start by following the physiotherapists prescribed exercises. They take all of about 7 minutes twice a day. How ridiculous is that? Not spending less than 15 minutes of my life to get enough rest to do all I want? Of course I will walk my pooch, Max right after in the mornings. (At least 5 days.) Now if that isn’t “energizing” I do not know what would be! So #6 is doing the exercises.  They will have a huge affect on my life so there you have it. What is your #6?

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]Last week Eve spoke of “envy” of what others had that she didn’t and how it made her feel. This week’s session she started out stating how grateful she was with what she did have. Eve is becoming more of who she is and less of what others may have wanted her to be or her past illusion of herself. “Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.”

This week we are all about her relationships with others. Most of her relationships run quite smoothly as Eve is a loving, caring fun person to be around. Firstly, there is a friend who seems distant and too busy to be bothered to return calls and even forgot to mention a special occasion in town that she hadn’t bothered to let them know of as it was a tribute to a dear mutual friend.  This upset Eve. Not the same kind of crazy crying “how could she” that she had felt in the past or the “what did I do wrong” place that before she may have gone in the past. No – just incredibly disappointed. She also realized that as her closest friend near where she currently lives, she has depended on her and missed her.

She found acceptance in her friend’s life and chose not to bring it up, but at some point when her friend brought up the event and that they were missed, Eve mentioned not knowing about it. The friend somehow thought she had and felt quite bad about not and for being so busy. “Let’s get together soon as there is to catch up on.” Eve understands that her own life is still the same but that she is changing. Not everyone will understand the changes or even like them for that matter.

 We have roles in relationships and when we alter ourselves sometimes who we are with others does too. Eve has let go of most things quite easily these days, even not knowing what her adult children are doing or going through. Even their choices which she may not understand or agree with somehow seem a lot easier to deal with.

Her mom is another person to work on accepting that she has a close relationship with. Her mom knows how hard it has been in Eve’s life to keep weight off and even though it is apparent that she has lost an incredible amount of weight, mom has said nothing. Not a “How is it going?” Or a “You look great!” Her mother is also the kind of person who has never said “I am sorry.”

 I asked Eve is she was “good enough” without her mom’s opinion? She quickly said yes. “How important is it that mom notice?” Not as much as she thought, anymore. Eve used to strive for mom’s acceptance and approval but now realizes she no longer works for it. Is mom a perfectionist? “Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree!” she laughs. Eve actually feels badly for others who have it, too. She is being so much easier on herself these days but cannot let her “perfectionist tendencies” slip in at any point. A great new habit has emerged!

I ask Eve if she has been able to stand in front of a mirror and say “I am good enough and I love myself and my body?” Eve claims it is so much easier today and that is quite an improvement to wanting to cover the mirrors. Eve feels she is getting as good with this as the “should’s” in her life. Life is all about choices and Eve is choosing to enjoy every day of her life and is getting better results because of it daily.

Now, Eve’s relationship with her husband is quite another story. They are a terrific couple, but like all of us there is always something to work on, and that is where we are going next week. Next week we will talk about critical driving. Have a great week!

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] I was reading a list of healthy habits that may be helpful so figured I will list them for you.
Make social connections – funny this was last week’s new addition #4 to my 10 energizing habits! I always have had them but the ones I wanted, were not in my periphery. I connected with 7 of my pals that I had not for some weeks and in some cases some months. It felt really good. I am so glad that habit is on my list!

Eat healthy – I do…except when I do not. Maybe one to add to my energizing list!

Sleep 8 hours – almost every night. My body needs it but some nights are just off, thank goodness it’s not very often.

Eat breakfast – Always! I have a HUGE list of friends that also do because I used to nag them about it. I no longer nag.

Exercise- this is one that needs some attention.

Good dental hygiene…I can be lax with flossing and sometimes late for my morning brush.

Take up a hobby- create and stretch your mind…I read and write…all kinds of things.

Protect your skin – this one I am pretty good at when it comes to the sun as I burn like a high sugar cookie in a hot oven…not very pretty. But I could add more moisturizer as I am over 50 and the collagen has reduced and I do not recognize the skin on my body.

Eat healthy snacks – sometimes I do- fruit is great this time of year…sometimes I don’t, I just love chocolate and cookies!

Drink water – I have read all kinds of things about water being separate and inclusive of other beverages one drinks. I go with together as I do drink tea, probably 4-6 mugs and I use water to take my supplements (when I remember) and have water at my bedside as the ceiling fan gives me dry mouth. Probably too much information, sorry.

Eat dairy – I drink several of my cups of tea with milk, I am of British heritage so milk is a must! Plus usually, a yogurt a day covers my necessary daily intake so, check!

Drink tea – Yes I am a tea granny. My name is Tammy and I am a Tea-aholic. I love tea so much that I had a small tea business and understand the differences in the benefits of tea whether it is white, green or black, just drink some daily! The slight difference in benefits is no reason to drink one you don’t like instead of one you do. It’s all good for you. Don’t get too hung up in black, green, white if they are not all to your taste, just drink some!

Walk daily- Now here I am good 5 days a week, but the weekend hits and I let my beloved walk Max, our dog. I suppose I could be sure to take the evening walks with them on the weekends as I love my morning quiet when they are both gone.

Plan- Now here is what I have been doing for the past few weeks, planning but also doing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad list, but most of them are only about your physical body, with only two for you – your soul, spirit, and mind. What about that essense inside of you? I some cases you need to work from the inside out. If you don’t feel worthy it’s hard to make good choices for your body. Only you know what parts need attention.

Today after reading this list, I want to work on my healthy eating as it has slipped off my radar with our holidays. A few pounds on one up then down then up again. It’s time to be on top of this. So, my energizing habit will be about healthy foods. I know the first blog on this several weeks ago, eating my fruits and veggies were not a problem, they still aren’t. What has been off is my carbohydrate intake. As much as I enjoy ice cream (YUM!), rice (much Thai food), bread (even the healthy high fiber kind) when I am not aware of how much I am consuming, I soon am consuming too much for my activity level and it all goes straight to my belly. This drags me down and my energy slows as well. So this truly is an energizing habit #5. Starting this morning I am back at writing down what I eat as that is the best way for me to pay attention. (I learned this from Weight Watchers years ago.)What have your habits been, I would love to hear from you.

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] I lay in bed a bit longer, relishing in the spoon of my husband and the dog has been called to jump up and settle in for the last few moments (or longer) of known comfort. All this is just before I get up and put the kettle on for my first cuppa tea and my beloved’s coffee. I take this time to think about the day ahead and it usually is a day of rest and whatever I/we feel like doing. I can read my book on the back deck if weather permits or curl up on one end of the sofa for a comfy read.

I give you a glimpse at my morning to let you know that I take care of myself by giving in to the luxury of time. It’s time for me to do what I need. It could be a quiet read or a long soak in the tub. It is a time to reflect and connect to my Higher spirit and my self. For some of you it could be a run out in the fresh morning air (although that would NEVER be my idea of a good start to any day) or a walk with the dog (my beloved does the weekend walks…ahhh). It is a choice to take care of what’s important to me, my needs then wants.

What do you do for yourself on Sundays? Maybe Sunday is not a day off for you and it is another day of the week. Are you able to take some time just for yourself? Do you have young children and need to get out of the house to have it? Feed yourself, feed your soul. You deserve to do this as nobody else is equipped to do it for you, not is it their job or responsibility. Be responsible for yourself and become lax to the jobs of your life- just for awhile. Maybe an hour is all you can grab, but it will be worth it. It charges your batteries to remember who you are and what you need for you.  Come on, you know you want to!

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] Fall is typically back to school for students, but why not YOU? I am launching my “University of You” Workshop with everyone in the Montreal area. Discover what talents you have within or your life’s purpose if you are not already living it. There are 2 events starting September 14th at 10 a.m. and September 20th at 7 p.m. Check out Upcoming Workshops for full details.

Who would be interested in coming? Maybe you need to power up your decision making muscles or strengthen your connection to your intuition or creativity. You could have issues of paralyzing fears or need to strategize for growth in your business. This workshop is all about you and your desire to move in the direction of your heart and soul. Have you considered trying on a new career? How about taking on a new relationship in your life? If you can dream it ­– you can have it!

What’s in it for YOU? Growth, clarity, empowerment, new “energizing” habits, new relationships, strength, courage, direction, strategies, desire, joy or creativity? It is a creative process. You have this ability within you and I will be there to inspire and support you on your journey.

Move Courageously into 2010 Strengthening Your Intuition and Empowering Your Decisions. Receive coaching in the intimate and confidential space of an inspiring and supportive group. Each participant will be there with their agenda while supporting each other in attaining what they came to achieve. Bring your willingness and intention for growth and development. This could be the journey of a lifetime!

Space is limited so register today by sending me a not through Upcoming Workshops or the Contact page. I am looking forward to supporting your magnificence!

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false]I didn’t used to see choices, they were something other people had. I was not taught that I had a choice about anything. When decisions were made in my youth they were in rebellion of rules that had been thrown upon me. I don’t think that the rule thing is new to people of my generation and even some of our kids, but there needed to be some choices given that grow in importance as we mature and need to make bigger ones.

As a young child there could be choices on what cereal to eat for breakfast or what socks to wear with that shirt. As we get older it may be go to bed with no shenanigans and get pancakes for breakfast or give me a hard time and its porridge.  YUCK! I think I ate porridge everyday every winter until I was 16. I wasn’t even bad! (Mostly)

As a preteen some understanding about choices on friends you pick and the repercussions in choosing badly. Noticing when a child is stuck and unable to make choices may be important, as well. There may be some issue needing to be discusses or even deeper stuff. I didn’t talk to my parents about anything important as there would be a directive given as opposed to some idea on how I might see things differently so I may be able to make a decision.

Do you feel trapped in a job or relationship? I thought that I was and it was an illusion that I created myself. I said “I have to…this” and “I have to… that” and felt controlled by what others wanted for me or for me to do for them. Guilt was my guide. I chose not to see my choices …until I chose differently.

This is all about the muscle I spoke of yesterday in “Do you have a point of view or are you living in the grey zone?” We need to work them daily and start small if necessary. What do you want for breakfast, grapefruit or porridge? (Yuck again, well not really as I enjoy the occasional bowl) Make a choice on what you feel like wearing. Follow your gut – your intuition. You can do this!

Recognize every small choice you are already making daily that you had not noticed. I bet you make all kinds of them. When you are not sure of which way to go and it isn’t really important either way, just make one and decide to see where it goes. How bad could it be?

I have many a bad choice in my life especially after my mom said, “Do what you can live with.” What the heck kind of advice is that to give to a 16 year old? How on earth was I supposed to know what I could live with? Apparently I can live with all kinds of things and have done both horribly and graciously. Choices have empowered me. I have learned how to discern good and bad choices as just…different.

Life can be a sentence or an adventure. What is the adventure you are willing to live with? What really is the worst thing that can happen? You could change and grow. You could find out there are things out there you like and dislike. You may have a taste for things you didn’t know before you tried.  You may even find out your true value as a human being and that you have so much more to give than you ever thought. I would hazard a guess to believe that you are magnificent all the way through! You may just not know it yet. Ask a friend what they think – if you dare.  Take a buddy on and ask them to challenge you regularly to make choices with judgment if they are good or bad and see where it takes you. Life is truly an incredible journey, where are you going?

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[tweetmeme source=trcoaching only_single=false] When I was in primary school, I had a simplistic view of what I knew.  Things were black or white, right or wrong. My view was that I was wrong and my parents were right until I was right and they were wrong. As a young teen mixed up in an adult world, things became very confusing.  My point of view became a resounding grey. I could no longer define black or white, right or wrong as information came in mixed messages. I became the chameleon, changing with the wind or opinion of the moment. If you stated the sky was blue, it was, without even looking out the window.

I didn’t notice when it started only when it ended. I was easily confused when the message was continually mixed. Adults saying one thing and doing another in regards to smoking, drinking, lying, and sex to mention a few. Little white lies were okay, but bigger black ones, were not. Don’t do anything bad. Do what you can live with. “Do what I say and not as I do”, was the great mantra to questions of “why?” My parents made all the decisions and questioned any that I made. It was near impossible to believe that I had value when I didn’t feel valued. Trust became a luxury I didn’t possess.

My lack of view became a habit of no opinion. Becoming an adult with this malady carried with it someone who couldn’t make a decision or make simple choices. Default became my answer to most questions asked. If I couldn’t go along with someone else’s choice, I would table the answer until there were no choices left. Living by default creates frustration, bitterness, resentment, anger, a lack of confidence and self worth.

I don’t think that I looked the wreck I felt to the rest of the world. People said that I was fun and had a great sense of humor. I laughed at everything, even some inappropriate things.  I had been hiding the secrets of my life for so long that I was good at smiling on the outside. I felt lower than dust, invisible on the inside. I carried these feelings into all my relationships for many years. Little made me feel happy for very long. I was angry and judged the world, including and especially my family. I felt empty, and thought I would disappear completely. I tried to fill this feeling with busyness.

Listening and offering advice to anyone who would share there lives with me filled my life. As long as I was fixing others, I wouldn’t have to look at my own. This unhappiness went with me into my first marriage. I became fearful of letting others really know me as I didn’t think they could like me if they really knew who I was.  This affected my early working years as I was afraid to try for bigger jobs as I didn’t think I could do it and was afraid that the powers that be would laugh if I tried out for them.

My entire life was based on fear, and it had guided me for longer than I could admit. I realized that I was afraid that if I had an opinion, it would be wrong or others wouldn’t agree and wouldn’t like me. If I made a wrong choice “there would be hell to pay.” It hadn’t occurred to me that I was already paying the price with my soul. I had been bullied my whole life from one person to another until submissiveness was easier than fighting. My first husband was the culmination of all the bullies in my life.

I realize that no choice is also a decision made.  It was time to do something that I wanted to do. I started my own business doing something that actually made me feel good about myself. My business was about helping and teaching women to look and feel beautiful. Every women I met was more beautiful than me, but it lifted me up and gave me legs to stand on- however wobbly.

My new found opinions affected my relationships. My mother had been trying to run my life for years until I had the strength to take a stand and step into the role myself. My mother is a strong character who handled single parenthood with six children like a drill sergeant. I believe that this strength is something that I got from her once she stepped aside and let me make my own mistakes, including the “cheap $200 wedding” to the louse of my dreams that pried me easily from her clutches.

My next stand was the J-O-B I had, managing a club with no decision making power. It was perfect for the invisible me but now it no longer fit. My opinions affected my first marriage the most. For years I had been the contented gardener of castle martyrdom, to someone who believed I wasn’t worthy of respect. I was no longer accepting unacceptable behavior. The tears were now in the past. My marriage was doomed.  I was no longer the chameleon to his point of view.

Opinions and choices are muscles that need regular exercise. They strengthen one decision at a time. On my own with my 2 children, I got plenty of exercise- there was no room for default. Choices and decisions needed to be made from the moment I opened my eyes until I shut them at the end of every day. In a very short time I had become a decision making machine. There were times I was so opinionated that I would argue until you agreed with me. I became the bully. It wasn’t me it was my muscles! They became too strong. They morphed out like a weight lifters. Whether the milk was $1.50 or $1.60, it wasn’t worth a battle. Not everything was that important.

Finding balance is knowing when to stand up for what I believe and when to shut up. Today I know that if something isn’t going to be an issue in a month or maybe even a year, it’s probably not important enough to argue about. Being right used to be a badge of honor until it became an accusation.  Arrogance had me believing that I needed to be right all the time. “Too much of a good thing”, I believe is the phrase.

Today I can express my opinion, knowing once is sufficient. After that I am trying to convince others to agree with my point of view. When I forget, I seem to notice the noise then realize that it’s coming from me. I apologize then shut up.

I like making decisions and having opinions, but they can change with new information. I must not get lazy with the little choices like restaurants to eat at or movies to see or even how I feel. The chameleon comes out when the muscles turn to flab from lack of use. It’s not usually hard to keep it up. How are your decision making muscles? Are they in need of a work-out?

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