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Posts Tagged ‘Learning’

yellow brick road

Is this your yellow brick road?

Are the goals you are working on yours?

Does it feel like the road is paved in gold and it seems all you have to do is dream it and it becomes your reality or is it like slogging around the base of a mountain but not quite getting your footing to climb it or you can’t find the path?

One reason may be that someone else set the goal for you. Not consciously but maybe they want something for you more than you want it.

Even without knowing it you may have set a goal you felt you “should” set based on someone else’s beliefs or desires for you. It either overwhelms you or even under-whelms you. Hard to put your heart into something like that isn’t it?

Does your goal feel somewhat pressured, not in a good way.   Do you feel pushed towards it, vs. drawn towards it? Like you cannot imagine not getting to the end result!

You may even want the goal but there may not have been enough thought or planning around it. Reality may or may not have an impact on your goal but put those glasses on to check it out if necessary. This is not to burst your balloon, but looking at all your options is still valuable.

Anything can be done if there is enough desire and energy to move you forward. If you have been less that “there” lately, then start with a smaller yet S-M-A-R-T goal.  One you know you CAN achieve with a small stretch then make each next goal bigger so that as you take those achievable steps, you are creating an environment of energy that will make even the seemingly impossible, POSSIBLE!

I too have had a past full of goal setting where I did well, then not so well. In hindsight I realize that my aversion to goal-setting was absolutely from getting to a place of setting goals that felt I “should” do, it would look good, I would feel better about myself, etc, etc,etc.

What I know today is that a goal has to be driven by your Vision. The one YOU want for yourself. The goals are the stepping stones towards it. You will feel drawn towards your goals and Vision in a way that feels like that path of gold off to OZ. All you need do is dream it, then be S-M-A-R-T about it!

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Ingredients

Hmmm…Whats Missing?

Setting goals gives us a feeling of starting anew.

But if our goals aren’t created properly, we are setting ourselves up for failure right from the start. So next time you create your goals, add this additional element to ensure your success.

Not only do you want to write them down, look at them daily, and take deliberate action toward achieving them, but you also want to visualize them as if they have already happened.

So… Want to lose 20 pounds? Visualize yourself 20 pounds lighter.

Want to make $100K this year? Visualize yourself putting $10K cheques in the bank each and every month.

Want to pay off all your debt? Visualize your balance sheet saying $0 due.

Visualizing your goals is the missing ingredient to achieving what yo want to accomplish.

Enjoy the experience, and enjoy your vision coming to be!

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Why not live life as a blonde?

I remember a commercial from decades ago told us if we did not like who we were we could “live it as a blonde”. As if changing our hair color was all we had to do. Is it really that simple? It has not been for me, how about you?

If you don’t like what’s happening to or around you – what are you doing about it?

If you want your life to be different who are you willing to become to be able to have that?

Life is good- even when it’s difficult or sad or when you are blue. Think of the alternatives.

You could have less than you do right at this very moment…yes you want more of something, but more than what exactly?

Do you know what you want? All you have to do is ask yourself, “What exactly do I want?”

Easy question but are you ready for the answer? Better yet are you ready to change? You will need to make some changes or you would have “it” already!

It’s not difficult but it is a process and if you are the impatient kind of person, this will add a different dimension to slow!  Slow can mean steady when you are doing the next thing that will facilitate the change but usually change needs choice then courage then persistence then a new habit.

Don’t stop now! You deserve to have what you want and dream about. Just because it will take more than five minutes to get there doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort! The effort is part of the glory at the end when we know we did it!  Some folks can get a book to give them the guidance to start heading in the right direction while others need a cheerleader or someone who helps them connect with their Inner Guidance System.

That cheerleader can come in many forms. A good friend or relative, an excellent boss or even a hired hand can support you through whatever part of the path that needs it. The dedicated hands will be there to ask the hard questions and prod you on. You may not even like the kind of assistance they can give you but it is easier when it’s not a boss or spouse. Not great for building relationships if you come off not appreciative for the aide.

There are lots of tools on the internet that can get you started. The first step is a desire to change then the rest is just one step at a time.  Mind Tools is a good website resource that has all kinds of tools that can get you started, but if you decide you want a coach, of course there is me but there is also a load of info on coaching at findacoach.com.

If life for you is a simple as changing your hair colour then go for it! Live it as a blond, brunet, red head or just let it go grey, naturally. Even that takes time if you have been covering it up for a time. Cut it short and start from scratch. The results will be different and everything can change, from the colour and length of our hair, to what we do and more importantly how we feel about our SELF.

Live the life you love and love the life you live!

Life is good, isn’t it!

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“I’ve changed my mind.” is a full sentence. Just like “No.” we need not say more.

Do we “need” an explanation from others when they say this to us? Why?

Does a decision really need to be explained or defended? Is it really our business?

Could it be about respecting others and the decisions they make for themselves?

Is it just a bad habit that can be amended by no longer asking for an explanation?

Just wondering what you think…

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A stone sculpture of Laozi, located north of Q...

Image via Wikipedia

Lao Tzu said, “When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be.”

So when you take a good long look in the mirror and connect with your truest self, who are you right now?

This can depend on how open you are to outside information what that “who” description will look like.

It could be a physical description with all the added stuff that you have done so far in life.

It could be who you believe you have become because of all the stuff you have done or experienced so far in this life.

Some would claim to be “a child of God” likely based on a religious background or education.

Yet others will say “I am God” or “I am all things” based on spiritual practices.

I think when Lao Tzu made that statement he left it to each of us to figure out exactly where we are so that we can let it go to allow new information that can bring us to something more.

We may not have a single clue of what “MORE” could possibly look like, but to be curious is all it would take to let go of that knowing for something new.

Are you curious?

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Life has a way of showing us the way,

which may rarely be where we were heading.

Know that you are never alone on this path…gratefully.

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A dear friend mentioned that self esteem comes from our parents. This was not news to me as I thought it was about our sense of value and that it most likely came from our parents…they/we are always the culprits. More importantly and specifically it is from being consciously listened to with eye contact. This sounds simple right? Not so simple these days. The busier we are the more things we are doing at the same time fracturing our attention from others. Not on purpose as if we don’t care, we just feel the pressure of time bearing down on us and are not present in the moment.

How about when you are chatting on the phone with a friend, are you doing the dishes or feeding the dog? I have noted that there have been times when I have been doing several things simultaneously and stopped to wonder what I was doing. Writing is one thing that I do not or maybe cannot do at the same time as anything else. Working with clients is another time I can stay focused on just the other person, but as that is mostly over the telephone eye contact is rarely a part of it. Listening with intention becomes primary and equally effective when the voice is all you have. Meditation is another but almost all else it is a real effort to stay focused on just one thing, or person.

Okay, go back. Go way back (for some of us it may feel like an eternity) to when you were a child. What kind of attention did your mom give you? Was your mom attentive to you when you were a wee one toddling around? For some, you may answer “of course she was!” But for many you either hope she was, don’t know or are sure she was not.

Mom may have been overwhelmed with many children and depended on older siblings to help take care of your needs or maybe even off at work before you were even one year old. Things have changed and moms get to stay home longer than say thirty years ago. Is it possible she was at home baking cookies when you got home from school? Or was she frantically trying to get everything in the house done like laundry and supper then baths and snacks with no real time to even read a book and tuck you in with a big hug.

Was there real time for listening? Can you envision in your mind’s eye her looking into yours with loving care and attention? Some of you can and some of you are getting a little uncomfortable now and maybe even a bit resentful. This is not my goal here. It’s about how we all can make a difference for others while we go along in our day. How can we affect our children’s, parents, friends and associates lives? One person at a time we can raise their self-esteem, their sense of personal value by giving them a small moment of your time.

If you don’t think that listening has value, just go back and think about someone who did – maybe your dad, grandparent, neighbor, relative, teacher or friend. When they took the time to really give you that care and attentive listening – how did you feel? I know that I felt special. I felt worthwhile. I felt wanted. I felt cared about. I felt loved! I no longer felt invisible in the world, even if just for a moment. Somebody thought that what I had to say was important. It felt GREAT!

Even just eye contact with a stranger walking by can more often than not elicit a smile of knowing. Knowing that they really are alive and seen by at least one other person can lift their spirit. We can go along our days unconsciously hardly seeing another person or we can make a decision that we matter enough, others matter enough to give them the time and care to stop, look and listen.

If you want to lift the SPIRIT through the self esteem of our world one person at a time, please forward this post on.

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